


A Sea Of Stars

by tooberjoober



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: M/M, background Uhura/Rand, the space pirate au of my dreams
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-20
Updated: 2019-10-27
Packaged: 2019-11-01 04:54:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 23,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17860679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tooberjoober/pseuds/tooberjoober
Summary: Jim Kirk is captain of the pirate vessel, the Jolly Roger. He has a crew that’s like family, a ship he treasures, and he loves what he does. But he can’t help but feel like something is missing.Spock is a Starfleet Officer who finds himself in a thoughtful state after he comes face to face with a capable charismatic pirate that he can’t get out of his mind.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I suck at summaries. Needless to say, ITS A FUCKIN SPACE PIRATE AU Y’ALL  
> I don’t have this planned out all the way, but I got very excited about space pirates, so I got a first chapter for you.  
> Hopefully y’all enjoy this little taste. And if you do, let me know! There will be more to this! Possibly soon! Because I love pirate shit!

“Prepare yourself to be boarded.” Captain James Kirk commed over to his latest prize. The Enterprise, Starfleet’s prized flag ship was now within his grasp. “Oh and Captain Pike? No funny business, please. We both know her shields are shot for a bit and…I’d hate to do permanent damage to such a pretty lady.” Kirk’s grin was smug as he grabbed his phaser and slid his blade into its holder by his hip. The cutlass was more difficult to use and often unnecessary, but Jim couldn’t help it, he loved the theatrics of it all. 

”Bones, Sulu, how’d you like to join me in visiting the Enterprise?” Jim spoke into the communicator he pulled from his belt as he swaggered down the halls of the Jolly Roger. He arrived in their transport room with three crewmen in tow, his first officer Sulu and Doctor McCoy were already waiting for him. “Alright.” Jim clapped his hands together, addressing his team. “Sulu, you’re covering Bones. Doctor, check out the medbay and get whatever you need. Rand, you’re in charge of Jackson and Lee, you three are heading to cargo to find the shipment of dilithium crystals they’ve been hauling. Get as much as you can within ten minutes. If anyone tries to threaten you, stun them. Alright?” 

”Yessir!” The group responded. 

”Alright.” Jim walked up to the transporter pad, looking at the operator. “Alright, Fredericks, if we’re not in contact in twenty, Fire a warning shot. Beam us over.” 

* * *

”Fascinating.” Spock mused, glancing back at his Captain. “By all means, we should be the superior ship, and yet-“ 

”We got our ass handed to us on a silver platter.” Pike groaned, his hands coming up to massage his temples. 

”I would not have said it in quite so colorful terms, but yes.” Spock responded. “What do you believe they are after?” 

”I dunno.” Pike responded with a shrug. “Starfleet doesn’t seem to give half a shit about these petty thieves.” 

”I understand that Starfleet does not have time to chase down every thief, but it seems-“ 

”Frustrating and stupid.” Pike grumbled. “I mean…there has to be a way to catch them. I just don’t know how they keep getting away.” He shook his head as the doors to the lift slid open and revealed a man. 

He was fairly tan with well groomed golden hair that swooped into a curl in front of his forehead. He was dressed in a tight green shirt and black pants that showcased his appealing, athletic build. A cutlass hung by his side, a fascinating ancient touch of class to this otherwise modern man. A smile shone on his face and his eyes seemed to glitter as he looked out the window to the stars that stretched in front of them. Spock saw the expanses of the universe reflected in the cheerful face of this pirate. He was enraptured by this man. 

”Fascinating.” Spock said softly, almost to himself, as the stranger walked onto the bridge. He had such an air of confidence around him, Spock could see him clearly as a Starfleet Captain, and found it no surprise that he was the leader of this pirate vessel. 

The pirate’s eyes flickered over to Spock. “A Vulcan.” He said, his eyes widening slightly in surprise. He raised his hand, perfectly replicating the Vulcan salute. “You must be S’chn T’gai Spock. The first and to my knowledge, only Vulcan in Starfleet.” 

It was Spock’s turn to be surprised as he slowly raised his hand and returned the gesture. “Yes. You are correct.” 

“I didn’t expect to be meeting you today.” A smile touched the man’s face and Spock felt warmed by the expression though he was uncertain why. The pirate turned back to Pike. “Captain Pike, I presume?” He raised an eyebrow. 

”Did you only come here to gloat?” A scowl crossed Pike’s face. The man walked around the Captain’s chair. 

”No, not exactly.” The man shrugged. “I like to see the ships we conquer.” He walked towards the console in the center of the bridge, his fingers trailing over the paneling. “I love our little lady, but she’s got nothing on a ship like the Enterprise.” He let out a low whistle. He shrugged, looking to the Ensign sitting at the console. “Besides, sometimes we get new recruits.” He winked at the Ensign before he pushed himself off of the console. He walked straight over to Spock. “So, Mr. Spock, how do you like it here? Do you agree with Starfleet’s logic?” He asked, leaning against the science station. 

Spock raised an eyebrow as he looked at the man. “There are moments of irrationality, as there are always where humans are involved. But overall, yes.” 

”I see.” The man nodded slowly. “That’s a shame. I feel like we would’ve worked great together.” He pushed himself off of the console and started back towards the lift.

”What makes you believe that?” Spock inquired. 

The pirate shrugged, looking over his shoulder and flashing a stunning smile. “Just a hunch.” He turned back to the bridge one last time. “Goodbye Enterprise. I’ll see you around.” He offered a small wave as the doors to the lift closed.

”Fascinating.” Spock murmured, his eyes still locked into where the man had disappeared. 

”Well Spock, if this doesn’t work out, it seems you’ve got a promising career in piracy.” Pike mused. He rose to his feet. “I should go see what they ransacked. Spock, you have the con.”

Spock nodded, moving to take the Captain’s place. He looked out at the stars, his mind drifting from the mission to the pirate ship he saw warping off, it looked like a normal freighter, but with the way it fought, it was clear that the Jolly Roger was not your average freighter. She was something special. Spock felt that her captain must be the same way. He began to think about how the stranger seemed to focus on him. It was…flattering, being under the gaze of the strange man. And Spock would not be able to say why, but he agreed with the pirate’s hunch. Perhaps had they been on the same side, they would’ve been a force to be reckoned with. But there was no use in pondering hypotheticals.

Spock brought his focus back to the task at hand, even though there wasn’t much that required his attention. “Mr. Chekov, status report.” 

”We are regaining our shields, slowly but surely, Mr. Spock. They’re at fifty percent at the moment.” The ensign responded. “Quite an interesting day, don’t you agree? Of course they are nothing like the Russian pirates of old, but who could be.” Chekov smiled back at Spock, whose raised eyebrow showed that he knew Chekov was full of shit. 

”Mr. Scott, how are the engines faring?” Spock asked over communicator. 

”She’ll be just fine.” Scott responded, simply. “Just need to take it easy for a day or so. Nothin’ above warp five, ya hear me?” 

”I’ll make sure the Captain is informed.” Spock said. 

”I’d love to see what sorta crazy upgrades they were working with.” Scott mused. “It had to be something special.” 

”Indeed.” The image of those glimmering eyes flashed through Spock’s mind. He shook his head. He had more important things to worry about than a dashing thief he’d probably never see again. 

* * *

“Alright, Rand, Bones, whats the haul?” Jim asked, looking around at the small group of his crew that joined him in his prep room. 

”We got two shipments of the dilithium crystals.” Janice responded. “I figured, one to keep, one to sell.” She offered with a shrug of her shoulders. 

”Sounds like a plan.” Jim nodded. “Bones?” 

”I was able to grab some of the testing equipment our set up is lacking, and a couple refills of some basic hypos, allergy, pain relievers, simple shit.” Bones said with a nod. 

”And I found this!” Sulu exclaimed, holding a bottle of a mysterious brown substance over the table. 

”It isn’t.” Jim said, disbelief in his voice, yet a knowing grin on his face. 

”Yup.” Sulu grinned back, popping the cork off of the bottle. “Saurian brandy.” A cheer went off through the room as Sulu took a swig. 

”If I wasn’t all of y’all’s Doctor, I might say this is unsanitary.” Bones responded with an amused smile as Sulu passed the bottle. 

Jim rolled his eyes with a fond smile as the bottle passed around the table. He got the bottle last. He raised it up. “To another job well done, guys. We defeated Starfleet’s precious flagship led by golden boy Pike. Congratulations!” He took a swig of the brandy. He wiped his mouth on the back of his hand, handing the bottle back to Sulu. “Make sure the rest of the crew gets a taste. I’m gonna go take over the con for a bit.” He clapped Sulu on the back, turning through the door and starting back towards the bridge. 

“Uhura, I got it from here.” Jim said, placing a hand on his friend’s shoulder. 

”You sure you don’t want me to keep you company?” Uhura asked, moving from the Captain’s chair with a smile. 

”Everything’s on autopilot?” Jim asked. 

”With communications wired to the captains chair.” Uhura nodded. “You positive?” She raised an eyebrow. 

”Sulu found booze, and I’m sure Janice is looking for you.” He said, looking over his shoulder at her. 

”Alright, I’m going.” Uhura rolled her eyes. “Don’t work yourself too hard, Captain.” She said the title more as if it were a fond nickname she had given to a family member. 

”Don’t let Rand work you too hard.” Jim retorted, sticking his tongue out at her. Uhura rolled her eyes, walking off of the bridge, leaving Jim alone with his thoughts. 

Jim looked out at the expanse of the universe laid out in front of him, an endless sea of stars, planets, and darkness. He thought of the Enterprise. Her viewing screen was bigger. Some small part of his heart longed for a big beautiful ship like the Enterprise, even though he knew it would never be. He loved the Jolly Roger. Sometimes he just wondered what his life would be like if he had… 

It didn’t matter. There was no point regretting what he couldn’t change. There was no use in longing for something that couldn’t be. Not when he was perfectly content. Which…he was. Jim was fine. He liked what he did, his crew was basically family, and every day he saw this gorgeous view. Why then did like something was missing? There was a longing in his chest for something Jim couldn’t identify.

”You alright, Jim?” The southern drawl of the Doctor drew Jim from his thoughts. 

Jim flashed his friend a smile. “Yeah, I’m fine.” He nodded. “Thinkin’ about giving everyone some time off after we sell off this dilithium.” 

”Can’t let the cash have time to burn holes in our pockets.” Bones chuckled, coming to stand by Jim’s chair. 

After a moment passed, Jim spoke up again. ”I think I need a break.” He let out a breath. 

”You’re admitting it? It’s gotta be bad if you’re open about it.” He said. “You feeling okay, Jim?” The Doctor pressed the back of his hand against Jim’s forehead like he was checking his temperature. 

”I told you I’m fine.” Jim rolled his eyes, swatting McCoy’s hand away. “I don’t know. You ever feel like something’s missing?” 

”Right now, I’m missing some brandy.” Bones responded with a cheeky smile. 

”Why do I try to have meaningful conversations with you?” Jim let out a small laugh. “Get back to your brandy, ya drunkard.” 

”I’ll send Lee in to cover for you in about an hour.” McCoy clapped Jim on the shoulder, turning back towards the lift. 

”Thanks, Bones.” The smile lingered on Jim’s face as he heard the door shut behind his friend. He let out a soft breath. He’d find whatever was missing one day. Till then he was fine.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo ho hey y’all! Chapter two! Exciting! Hope y’all enjoy and if you do, let me know because I adore feedback!  
> Ooh and if you’re new here, make sure you check out my tumblr @spocksgotemotions where I make shit posts, obsess over Star Trek, and talk about my fics

The bridge was never quiet. It was never boring. There was always conversation, singing, movement, life. It was one of Jim’s favorite things about the Jolly Roger. The Starfleet ships he had been on before were always so stuffy, so formal. 

Uhura sang softly on the bridge, Rand leaning against her chair. ”My bonnie lies over Antares. My bonnie lies beyond Delta three. My bonnie is far from our starship. Oh bring back my bonnie to me.” Uhura reached behind her, taking Janice’s hand in her own and bringing it to her lips. Rand smiled, leaning more over the chair and allowing her arms to drape over her girlfriend’s shoulders. 

Jim hadn’t meant to stare. He brought his eyes back to the viewing screen before them, trying to shake off the feeling of loneliness that had settled over his chest. Yup that settled it. They needed shore leave and soon. He glanced over to Sulu. “Sulu, where are we selling off the dilithium?” He asked, turning his chair with a sigh.

”Um…Starbase 137.” Sulu responded with a nod. 

”One thirty seven.” Jim hummed, spinning his chair in a circle thoughtfully. “I can’t remember, does that one have anything fun?” 

”We’re selling blackmarket dilithium.” Sulu responded with a raised eyebrow. “Of course it has fun stuff.” He smiled. 

”I need some time ashore.” Jim said with a yawn, continuing to turn his chair in circles. 

”Uh-huh.” Sulu’s eyes flickered over to where Uhura had Rand perched on her lap. “Well don’t worry.” He stood, walking over to Jim and putting a hand on the chair to stop Jim’s turning. “137’s a bigger one. It’s got a couple of bars, a casino, some science labs and museums, whatever you need.” He leaned down, offering Jim a wink. 

”You can worry about yourself, mister.” Jim brushed him off. “Cloaking device is calibrated right, Lee?” 

”Yessir.” Lee responded with an easy grin. 

”Great.” Jim nodded. “Alright guys, after we deliver this shipment, we’re gonna take us a little break out on starbase one thirty seven.” He called out. A cheer went out over the bridge and Jim couldn’t help but grin. It felt good when he made the crew happy. The ache he felt in his chest earlier was gone, replaced by a fondness for his crew. The loneliness never lasted for long. And soon it’d been washed away with bottles of alcohol and someone pretty by his side. 

Jim leaned on the arm of his chair, his thoughts beginning to turn to who it might be that he’ll bring back to the Jolly Roger for the night. The options on starbases were usually pretty limited, but Jim always managed to do alright. Maybe there’d be some Starfleet officers drinking their shore leave away. Jim recalled the officers he’d seen on his brief visit to the Enterprise. Of course most of them were relatively attractive, and Jim wasn’t picky, but there was one person who stood out above the rest. 

S’chn T’gai Spock. Jim had heard about him back when he was still in the academy. He read the few articles on him, he tried to read the few articles that Spock had written, although some of them were a bit to advanced in subjects Jim had never been especially adept at. Jim had seen Spock’s picture in news letters and gossip blogs, but none of that compared to seeing him. He couldn’t explain it easily. Something about Spock just called out to him. That tall, lithe, yet no doubt powerful frame, all showcased beautifully beneath the tight Starfleet issued uniforms (Jim and Starfleet had their disagreements, but damn could Jim appreciate the uniforms). The bowl cut wasn’t exactly something easy to pull off, and yet Spock managed to look elegant and sexy at the same time. Carefully groomed eyebrows, pointed ears, and those dark, surprisingly soulful eyes. The thought of it all made Jim feel weak in the knees. Jim hadn’t seen many Vulcans, but he doubted that any of them were as appealing as Spock was. 

”Maybe I could find a Vulcan.” He said thoughtfully, more to himself than to anyone else. He had heard some interesting rumors about Vulcans, and he was dying to find out whether or not there was any truth to them. 

”A Vulcan?” Uhura turned her chair to face Jim, Rand still laying across her lap. “Jim, you must’ve lost your mind if you think a Vulcan would ever go for you.” She teased with a smile. 

Rand laughed along side her. “Maybe a drunk Romulan.” She responded. 

”Hey! A man can dream.” Jim grumbled. “Also, stop insulting your Captain like that! Or it’s off the plank for both of you.” Jim declared, turning his chair back toward the view screen. 

”Oh no, better watch out, Jan.” Uhura responded amused, turning back to her station. 

”I’ll watch your back, you watch mine.” Rand responded, leaning down and pressing a quick kiss to Uhura’s lips. 

”Ugh, and stop with all the PDA!” Jim groaned. 

”Or it’s walk the plank?” Uhura challenged, pressing another kiss to Rand’s cheek. 

”Yes. Or something better when I can come up with it.” Jim responded. 

* * *

Spock liked being on the bridge. It was quiet on the there. The main noises were the soft hum of the machinery beneath him, and the occasional orders from Pike and questions from the crew. It was peaceful, calm.

Spock threw himself into his work, focusing on his studies, whatever their project at the moment was. When it was a simple task like star mapping, Spock would split his attention and work on academic papers he had been thinking about writing.

Spock always kept himself busy, but as of late, he found he was having a harder time focusing. His thoughts would drift from projects as he neared the end of his shift. He thought of the pirates. The handsome man that had swept onto the bridge, for no reason other than to talk with them and see the stars from their view screen. Spock could not seem to get the image of the man out of his head. The shining golden hair that swept into a curl. Those glimmering hazel eyes, and brilliant grin. That tight green shirt with a collar that dipped to the midpoint of his chest, revealing a wealth of smooth, tan skin. Those fitted black pants that left little to the imagination and hugged the curves of his backside in a manner that was far too appealing. 

Spock shook his head slightly, taking a steadying breath and turning his thoughts back to the task at hand. Analyzing the information of a nearby planet. M class. Uninhabited with heavy vegetation. 

”Spock.” Pike said, hand clapping down on Spock’s shoulder. 

”Yes, Captain?” Spock’s voice was steady, despite his recent distractions and how he had not noticed the Captain was behind him. 

”Once we get the necessary info on Beta 21, I want the crew to get in a night or two of shore leave. How far off is the nearest starbase?” He asked. 

Spock hummed thoughtfully, typing a search into the computer. “The closest Starbase is Starbase 137 and it is about half a day away from Beta 21.” Spock responded. 

”Perfect.” Pike nodded. “Oh and Spock, I want you to take some time off too. You’ve seemed a little…off lately. You need to make sure you’re not overworking yourself, alright Spock? The Enterprise relies on you.” 

”Yes, sir.” Spock nodded. It seemed his recent distractions were becoming noticeable, to the Captain at least. He would have to find a way to remedy the situation. Perhaps more meditation would be beneficial. Starbase 137 did have several businesses aimed towards ‘relaxation.’ Though they also had a number of museums. Spock would be able to plan out his shore leave once his shift was over and he had meditated on his wandering mind. Spock took in a breath. Spock did not particularly enjoy shore leave, not as his fellow crew members did. But perhaps time off of the ship would be beneficial to him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t really know what to say about this. Hi? Hope you enjoy, and if you do, let me know :D

Spock looked around at the Starbase. 137 was a fairly large Starbase, almost a little planet of its own, trapped in a bubble to substitute an atmosphere. The stars shone just outside of the bubble. It was easy to forget that this was not a real planet. He might have convinced himself he was back on Earth, if Spock had not looked up and see the ships parked around the base, the stars so much larger and more plentiful than they were at the Academy. Groups and individuals walked the bustling streets, from hotels and houses to bars, restaurants, and museums.

There were more people here than he had envisioned. Perhaps there were other ships or groups on shore leave. The crowds were mostly humanoid, and mostly dressed in casual clothing, though there were several others dressed in their Starfleet uniforms. Spock felt out of place. 

Spock was uncertain of what he should do. He had intended to plan his shore leave out before he arrived, but between their latest mission, and his need for more meditation than usual, he had been unable to plan anything. He let out a breath, his eyes glancing around at the signs on the buildings around him. There were several museums around him. His eyes were drawn to a curved building. It was painted bright colors. 

Spock walked towards the building. It was a museum of Earthen music. That could certainly be interesting. He did have a fondness for Earth music. His favorites were the classical musicians, but he was also drawn to the popular music of their mid to late twentieth century. He pushed the door open and a bell chimed. He glanced up at the bell before he looked at his surroundings. The museum seemed to be mostly empty. 

He walked into the gallery. A series of Earthen instruments decorated the walls. He recognized a lot of them, but there were several he was unaware of. He read a plaque besides a large instrument that was apparently called a contrabass flute. He pressed a button on the plaque and a low buzzing noise filled his ears. “Fascinating.” He mused softly, continuing to the next instrument. 

”Nyota, look at that.” Spock heard the lilt of a woman’s voice. 

”Jan, I know you don’t want to be here, but you promised!” The other woman huffed. 

”No! Look!” Jan repeated. 

”A Vulcan.” The woman that was called Nyota responded in awe. 

Spock glanced at the pair, not turning his head so as not to alert them. One of the women had her arm draped over the shoulder of the other. The shorter women had dark hair, and she was in a short, loosely fitted red dress. The taller woman was blonde. She was in a purple tank top, a red leather jacket slung over her shoulders. 

”And Starfleet to boot.” The taller woman, Jan, mused. “You don’t think he’s-“ 

”Are there any other Vulcans in Starfleet?” Nyota asked. 

Spock felt the tips of his ears go green. He had never expected that his decision to join Starfleet would make him a minor celebrity. Thankfully he only seemed to be famous to those well versed in Starfleet news. 

”Think we should inform Jim that his dream guy’s hiding from him in a museum?” Jan asked, amusement evident in her voice. 

”If Jim’s really looking for Vulcan dick, he’d think to look in a museum.” Nyota joked, leading Jan into a fit of laughter. 

Spock’s face warmed considerably. Apparently he was a object of lust. He never imagined himself as such. In his adolescence and young adulthood his peers, both Vulcan and human, had found his subtle differences disconcerting. Definitely not attractive in any matter. Though he had never been adept at discerning the emotions of his human peers at the academy. 

”This might be a bit of trouble though.” Jan mused in a tone a bit more hushed than before. “If he’s here, there’s probably more of them on shore leave.” 

Spock turned to the next instrument, so as not to show his attention was almost solely on the couple. 

”Crap. You’re right.” Nyota huffed. “What if someone recognizes one of you?” 

”Exactly.” Jan responded. “We should go tell Jim.” The women left the gallery. 

Spock’s brow furrowed. That conversation had quickly turned suspicious. He heard the bell ring, indicating the women’s exit. He turned and hurried towards the door, deciding to get to the meaning of their cryptic words.

* * *

“One…two…three!” Jim hit the table, signaling Bones and Sulu to begin chugging their respective bottles of Glorian moonshine. It was strong stuff, very bitter and difficult to get down. Sulu got halfway through the bottle before he surrendered to their champion in all things booze. 

McCoy kept going, finishing the bottle to the cheers of the other crewmembers in the bar. “Challenge me again once you’ve tasted West Virginian whiskey mixed in with what was supposed to be a mint julep.” Bones responded with a grin, clapping Sulu on the back. 

”God, what sort of wildass training do they put you through in the south?” Sulu demanded, taking a long drink of water. 

”The only way to really explain it, is to live through it.” Bones said with a shrug. 

Jim laughed. “Alright Sulu, that means the next round is on you.” He said with a smile. 

”Alright.” Sulu pushed himself out of his chair, walking towards the bar. 

The door to the bar opened and Uhura and Rand came hurrying through the doors. “Hey Jim!” Uhura exclaimed as the pair rushed to their table. “We have an issue-“ 

”Whatever it is, can’t it wait? Sulu’s buying this round.” Jim offered in a melodic tone of voice. 

”I don’t think it can.” Rand responded, her eyes flickering as the door opened once again. “Shit.” 

”He must’ve heard us.” Uhura said with wide eyes. 

”Jim, please tell us that’s not the Vulcan from the Enterprise you’ve been thirsting over.” Rand said pleadingly. 

”That’s ridiculous.” Jim said, turning in his seat to look at the door. “Shit.” He cursed, as his eyes met the deep gaze that had been haunting him since he boarded the Enterprise. “We’re fucked.” 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a little hard to come by for whatever reason. Anyways I hope y’all enjoy it and if you do let me know!

Spock immediately saw the gorgeous man that had been haunting his thoughts. He seemed to be the one source of light in the dingy bar. He strode through the dive bar. “I believe we should talk.” Spock said as he arrived at the table where Jim sat with his crew gathered around him. 

”Oh yeah?” Jim looked around at his friends, before offering a flirtatious smile up to the Vulcan. “Unless you’re here to hit on me, I don’t know what you’d have to say.” 

“May I speak to him alone?” Spock requested with a pointed look to Jim’s friends. 

Jim nodded his consent. He waved Bones close. “Stay close by.” He said in a low voice to the doctor before letting him go. 

“Your name is Jim?” Spock asked, sliding into the seat across from Jim. 

”Yup.” Jim nodded, leaning forward and resting his chin against his hand. “Nice to see you again outside of my dreams.” He batted his eyelashes. He doubted his charms would work on the Vulcan, but he had to try. Maybe it’d work and he’d help out his crew, or maybe he’d help himself out. Spock looked unamused. “So how’d you find me?”

“Your friends are not very quiet.” Spock nodded his head towards where Uhura and Rand we’re keeping an eye on them. “They were talking about me and were acting quite suspicious, so I followed them.” 

Jim nodded. “Sounds about right. So are you on shore leave? Or did you quit Starfleet to come after me?” He smiled charmingly. 

Spock controlled his face into an unemotional mask, despite the fact that his heart had started racing in his side from the moment he caught sight of the man. “I am on shore leave.” He responded. “You are lucky it is not my captain on shore leave, otherwise I am sure you would be in prison.” 

”You’re not gonna turn me in?” Jim asked in surprise. “What do you want?” His eyes narrowed. 

”I am not going to turn you in yet.” Spock corrected. “I view you and your band of petty thieves as irritating, but ultimately harmless.” He said, leaning back in his chair. 

”Hey.” Jim pouted slightly. “That’s not very nice.” 

“I just do not understand. Why is it you steal from Starfleet?” Spock asked, ignoring Jim’s interruption. 

”It’s not normally Starfleet.” Jim shrugged. “But you guys normally have excess of what we don’t. You’ve got medicine, fancy equipment, there’s always dilithium crystals.” He responded. “But we’re just as likely to take from a Klingon ship or some of the higher class freighters and cruisers.” Jim took a drink from his cup. “I mean, if I’m honest, we do just as much, if not more cargo carrying than stealing.” 

”I see.” Spock said thoughtfully.

”Is there anything else?” Jim asked. 

”Have you already sold the dilithium crystals?” Spock questioned. 

Jim nodded. “I can give you the name of the guy that bought it if you want to try and get them back.” He offered. 

”That is unnecessary.” Spock responded. “I do not know how I would tell my Captain where I got it from.” He shrugged. 

”Alright.” Jim said. “Thanks for not turning us in. Can I buy you a drink?” 

”Vulcans do not become intoxicated with alcoholic beverages.” Spock responded, standing from his chair. 

”Well, is there something else I can do to thank you?” Jim asked, following Spock’s leading and coming to his feet. 

”Do not steal from the Enterprise again.” Spock responded, stepping around the table to be closer to Jim. “I will let you go this time, but this will be the only time it will happen.” Spock looked down at the man for a moment, something Jim found intimidating, but also strangely exciting. Spock turned and started walking through the bar. 

“Wait!” Jim caught up with him, reaching out and grabbing his wrist. He was shocked as a strange sensation traveled through the contact. It was something he had never felt before, but it wasn’t unpleasant in the slightest. Jim let go of him in his surprise. “Why are you just letting us go?” He asked curiously. “Vulcans are supposed to be all about logic. Where’s the logic?” 

Spock was still reeling from the small amount of contact. That briefest of touches lit a fire deep in his chest. And with those lovely golden eyes gazing up at him with such an honest and open curiosity, Spock felt he’d be consumed by the flames. He knew he needed to leave before he did something wholly illogical. But then the question was asked. Where was the logic in letting them go? “You pose no major harm to Starfleet.” Spock said slowly. “I see no reason to use up resources containing you and your friends.” He turned to leave again, but Jim still followed him. 

Jim placed himself in the Vulcan’s path. “There’s no way I can stay in your company a little longer?” He asked with a roguish smile, a mischievous glint in his eyes. 

“I believe it best if I leave.” Spock responded, stepping around the man. 

Jim didn’t follow him again. “Ya know, I’ve got a feeling we’re gonna see each other again.” He called after him as Spock exited the bar. 

Vulcans would readily deny having gut feelings or instincts, but the small human part of him that did have them was in agreement with Jim’s assessment. He didn’t know where or why or how, but Spock knew he would see Jim again. Only hopefully on better terms. 

* * *

Jim walked over to his crew. “He’s not turning us in, but I think we should go in case someone less nice recognizes us.” Uhura and Rand booed Jim’s decision, knocking back drinks and heading out of the bar towards the ship. 

“Why on Earth isn’t he turning us in?” Bones questioned, his brow furrowed. 

”I don’t know.” Jim responded with a shrug. “I do know that somehow I’m gonna find him again one day.” 

”Oh yeah?” Sulu asked with a raised eyebrow as he gathered his jacket. “You gonna seduce a Vulcan, Romeo?” 

”Well, I can certainly try.” Jim winked, teasingly. The truth was he found himself fascinated by the man, his Vulcan status and gorgeous appearance being mere bonuses to an intriguing man that Jim wanted to understand. He was determined, he’d figure him out one day.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo ho hey guys! Hope you enjoy this chapter! There’s not much interaction between the boys (lots of pining), but I got a big thing planned next, so look forward to it.  
> Let me know what ya think!

They were forced to end their shore leave before any of them would have liked. But they would have liked being thrown in jail even less. 

”Don’t worry guys.” Jim said as the crew flew away from Starbase 137. “We’ll find someplace nearby to rest up.” He glanced over at Sulu. “Any ideas, Sulu?” 

“I’m working on it.” Sulu responded with a sigh, his fingers typing away. 

”Wherever we go, it probably won’t have as many sexy Vulcans.” Uhura pouted towards Jim. 

Jim narrowed his eyes at her. “And who exactly led him to us?” He asked with a raised eyebrow. 

Uhura raised her hands in surrender, turning back to her station. “Alright, fair enough.” 

”That’s what I thought.” Jim returned, looking out the view screen, his arms crossed over his shoulders. He let out a breath. “It would’ve been insane if he was interested.” He mused, mostly to himself. “That might’ve been worth getting caught for.” He joked. 

”Jim, if we ever get caught because you’re horny, I’m throwing you under the bus.” Sulu responded, plugging in the location of a smaller nearby Starbase. “Like, I will seriously pretend that you kidnapped me.”

”It’s a joke, Sulu.” Jim rolled his eyes. “I value you guys over a night with a Vulcan.” 

”Aw.” Rand cooed. “That’s almost a sweet sentiment.” 

”That’s my forte.” Jim retorted. He glanced over to Sulu. “We got a destination?” 

”Yup.” Sulu nodded. “We’ll be at Starbase 134 in about four hours.” 

”Great.” Jim nodded. He stood from his chair, stretching slightly. “Alright, Sulu, you got the conn.” He clapped his friend on the shoulder. “Call me back in two hours or whenever you get sick of it.” He shrugged, walking off of the bridge and towards his quarters. 

Jim let out a breath as the lights flickered on in his quarters. He walked over to his bed, flopping onto it. He let his eyes fall shut for a brief moment, and considered taking a nap. It had been a stressful day, and he wasn’t entirely sober yet. Jim sat up, leaning his back against the wall and rubbing a hand over his face. He reached over and grabbed a padd from his bedside table, powering it up. His fingers began typing into the search bar before the thought even crossed his mind.

Within seconds he was staring down a page of results that he had looked at about twenty times since the fateful day they raided the Enterprise. At the top of the page, that stern, stoic face stared blankly at him. He had seen the picture before, but it seemed so hollow once he saw him in person. Those dramatic eyebrows were so much more expressive in person. He could convey so much with just a single raised eyebrow. The photo showed his pointed ears, but it didn’t show the way they had flushed green when Jim said something that flustered him. It showed his dark eyes, but it didn’t show the depths beneath them. Those expressive, soulful, human eyes set in contrast to the logical Vulcan. 

Jim had read the interviews Spock had done back when he was still in the academy. Spock hadn’t done many more interviews since then, but Jim still found himself reading through them. It had been a while since Jim had gotten such a stupid, pointless crush. Of course, one of the few people he absolutely couldn’t have. Jim let out a sigh, laying the padd down on his chest. 

”Jim?” Bones buzzed at his door. 

”Come in.” Jim buzzed him in, not moving from his spot. “What’s up?” He asked, lifting his head up to watch his friend walk into the room. 

Bones moved Jim’s desk chair, spinning its back towards Jim and sitting on it backwards. “Just wanted to check in on you.” He responded with a shrug. “It was a bit of a stressful day. And I know you didn’t get your rocks off. Although it looked like you could cut that sexual tension you had with that pointy eared fellow with a knife.” 

Jim shrugged his shoulders, still slumped against the wall. “Eh, not to be blue, but I think even I managed to find someone, I think I’d still be just as frustrated.” 

”Why’s that?” Bones asked, resting his chin on his arms. 

”I’m caught up on the Vulcan and I can’t explain why.” Jim responded, putting his padd back on his bedside table. 

“Well I can.” McCoy responded simply. 

”Pray tell, good doctor.” Jim gestured vaguely. 

”He’s unattainable.” Bones shrugged. “I mean shit, Jim. High ranking Starfleet that we’ve robbed from. And a Vulcan.” 

”I guess so.” Jim muttered. That didn’t feel right. But what was he gonna tell Bones? No, I think I’m falling for a guy I’ve had two conversations with. That was just stupid. 

”Don’t worry, Jim.” McCoy rose to his feet. “You’re gonna be alright.” 

”Yeah, I know.” 

* * *

”How was your shore leave, Mr. Spock?” Pike asked after Spock had beamed up to take control of the Enterprise. “Restful, I hope?” 

”It was more eventful than I had hoped, but I learned quite a bit.” Spock responded. 

”Well, that sounds pretty good.” Pike responded, jumping onto the transporter with a smile. “Take good care of her, Mr. Spock. I’ll be back tomorrow evening. In the meantime, I suggest you read up on our next assignment. You’ll be leading the landing party.” 

Spock nodded. “I will read it as soon as I can, Captain.” Pike beamed down to the planet, Spock leaving the transporter room to head towards the bridge. 

His thoughts swam with the occurrences of the day before. He had dedicated a significant amount of time to meditation and analyzing the events, yet there was still so much he didn’t understand. His own actions included. His actions were not illogical, but each time he tried to analyze his logic, the only motives supplied was a dazzling grin, a wave of blond hair, petite rounded ears, and eyes that had shone in the low light of the bar. His mind was dragged back to the delicious brush of fingers against his wrist, and logic left him entirely. The only thought left was the absurd desire to take the pirate up on his salacious offers. Then the relief he felt that he had still had enough control to turn him down. Spock could only imagine the scandal that would come with a relationship of that sort with the thief. And yet against all logic, Spock wanted it so much. His entire being ached with the need to be touched by those fingers that had so briefly graced his skin. 

Spock knew he was in danger. He needed to forget this man. He needed to avoid any future encounters. He needed to throw himself into his work. He sat down in the Captain’s chair, taking the padd with the briefing for their next assignment and beginning to read it. He would be alright. He had to be.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whaddup y’all. We get some more characterization for some of the Enterprise Folks. (especially M’Benga cause he has a lot of potential and i’m love him)  
> Hope you enjoy and if u do let me know!

“Captain?” Spock called through his communicator. “Captain?” He let out a sigh as there was no response. There must be an interference in the atmosphere.

”What is going on, Mister Spock?” Chekov asked, looking intensely at his tricorder.

”It seems we are unable to communicate with the Enterprise.” Spock let a breath out through his nose as his hands came up to his hips.

“Ah, that is quite a predicament.” Chekov nodded, pointing his tricorder to the sky. “What should we do, Commander?” 

”There is not much we can do except try to repair the shuttle.” Spock responded, looking around the desolate planet they crashed onto. “We should also set out an emergency signal so they are able to find us once the ion storm clears up.” Spock said, his mind quickly planning out what he would need of the crew that he had brought with him to Thetacron Seven. There was a deep roar not in the far distance of where they stood. That complicated things significantly. “We will gather what supplies we can and fix things in the shuttle.” He decided.

”That sounds like a marvelous idea, Commander.” Chekov said, glancing fearfully towards the horizon. “I will…get started.” 

* * *

”Pike! What are you loafing about Thetacron Seven for?” Admiral Jones demanded over the view screen. “We need you at Altair Twelve tomorrow!” 

”We’ve got a landing party down there that we can’t get into contact with.” Pike explained, attempting to keep his voice calm and even despite being yelled at by the elderly Admiral. “We don’t know if the lifeforms on the planet are dangerous and there’s an ion storm going on down there. Give us another few hours to see if it clears up.” He requested. 

The Admiral grumbled under his breath. “You’ve got two hours. If I still find you orbiting Thetacron Seven after that, there will be consequences.” The call ended. 

Pike brought a hand to massage his temples. Two hours wasn’t a lot of time. “Come on Spock.” He said quietly, hopefully looking at the dessert planet on the screen before him. It had only been a simple investigation. Then the ion storm began and they lost contact with the ship. There was even the small chance that the landing party did not survive the crash. But Pike couldn’t allow himself to believe that. Spock was his most prized officer, one of Starfleet’s most capable, and Pike’s friend. If anyone could find their way out of this situation, it would be Spock. 

* * *

Spock couldn’t stop the fear that clutched his heart as he gazed up at the crackling sky. The Enterprise was expected at Altair Twelve the next day. Pike would be forced to abandon them soon, if he were to arrive there on time. Of course he would return at the first chance, but there were many things that could happen in that short time span.

”Doctor,” Spock turned his gaze from the sky back to the shuttle where M’Benga was tending to Lieutenant Colbs. “What are your findings?” His tone was flat, urgent, almost frightening in its complete lack of emotion. But M’Benga knew Vulcans, and Spock, well enough to hear the concern hiding beneath his apathy. 

“Just a concussion. Colbs seems to have the worst of injuries, so we got lucky there.” M’Benga offered a reassuring smile to Spock, waving a tricorder over the lieutenant’s forehead. “It should start to ease up soon.” He rose to his feet, stepping around to put a hand on Spock’s shoulder. “I know what you are thinking.” He said softly. “This is not your fault. This could’ve happened even if Pike had been leading the party.” 

Spock immediately turned his gaze to the ground. “I had wished to investigate the rock formations on the planet’s surface.” 

”Spock, that’s what we do.” M’Benga said. “We investigate.” 

”If the ion storm does not clear up soon the Enterprise will be forced to leave without us.” Spock’s voice was quiet, anguished. 

M’Benga felt concern and fear rise in his chest, but he smothered the emotions for the moment. “Spock, we will be okay.” He assured him. “We’ve got Scotty working on repairing the shuttle, Chekov’s our gathering supplies. Even if the Enterprise leaves, as soon as the ion storm dissipates we are sending out a distress call as far as we can.” 

”Right.” Spock let out a breath, finally meeting M’Benga’s eyes. “I…apologize for my emotional outburst.” 

M’Benga laughed, loudly and cheerfully. “You do not have to be ashamed of being human with us, my friend.” Spock almost looked offended at M’Benga’s statement. 

* * *

Jim hummed an old Earth song as they left Starbase 134. They finally had a relaxing shoreleave and Jim was finally feeling better. That was what he told the crew. His mind was still fixated on the details on the Vulcan man he had met twice now. He wanted to see him again desperately. But he knew the chances of that were so minuscule. And even if they weren’t, Spock wouldn’t be attracted to him. He wouldn’t spend time with him. Jim just needed to wait and soon enough he would cross paths with another pretty person he could fixate on. Still, Jim was relaxed and ready to start sailing those stars again. 

“Where we headin’ Captain?” Sulu asked, glancing over his shoulder at Jim. 

”Hm…” Jim stroked his chin, mimicking thoughtfulness. “Mr. Sulu, second star to the right and straight on till morning.” He ordered. 

”Jim, you know that’s a lot less funny the fiftieth time you’ve said it.” Sulu responded, exasperatedly. “And it gives me no idea of what to set our course to.” 

”Stop being such a party pooper.” Jim responded, sticking his tongue out at his friend. 

“May I make a suggestion?” Uhura asked, hand pressing her headphone into her ear. “There seems to be a distress signal coming from Thetacron Seven.” 

”That’s about a day’s trip at warp four.” Sulu said, looking up at Jim for instruction. 

”Are there any federation vessels in that vicinity?” Jim asked, all teasing from the moment before gone as he considering the seriousness of the situation. 

”Not that I can see.” Johnson responded, examining the area. 

”Mr. Sulu, can warp eight get us there in half a day?” Jim asked. 

”Yeah, but Rand might kick your ass for putting a bit of strain on the engines.” Sulu responded, a small teasing smirk on his face. 

“Guess that’s a risk I’ll have to take.” Jim shrugged. “Warp eight, Sulu.” 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heeeeeeeey! Enjoy! And if you do, let me know because I love validation!

”Hello?” 

Spock heard a woman’s voice come through the radio of the shuttle. He rushed over to the radio, responding to the call. ”Hello this is Lieutenant Commander Spock of the Enterprise. Our shuttle crashed to the planet during an ion storm, and I believe the Enterprise was forced to leave us.” 

Uhura’s eyes widened as she heard the Vulcan’s voice. She almost wanted to laugh. “Um…Jim, I think you might wanna hear this.” She said, shaking her head slightly. “I’m sorry, Commander, will you repeat that?” She requested, switching the comm over to the main speaker. 

Jim couldn’t help himself. He barked out a laugh as he heard Spock. “Put me on.” Jim ordered, leaning towards the comm on his chair. “Well, Mr. Spock, isn’t this quite the coincidence.” He grinned widely, extremely amused by the situation. 

”Jim.” Spock responded, his mouth a hard line as he recognized that jovial voice. “What do you want?” 

Jim frowned. “I don’t want anything. We saw the distress signal, we came to help you out. Would you like us to beam you up and deliver you back to your ship, or would you rather we find the nearest fleet vessel to come get you?” He offered, his voice losing its playful edge. “It doesn’t seem that there’s anyone within a day’s journey, but I’m sure-“ 

”Your point has been made.” Spock said through grit teeth. “I request that you beam my team and myself aboard and take us to the Enterprise, should it not prove to take you too far off course.” He said, his voice returning to its usual calm state. 

”Prepare yourselves to beam up.” Jim ordered, sending in the order to Rand. “I guess I’ll go greet our new guests.” He offered his friends his usual flashy smile, but underneath it he couldn’t help but feel nervous. Of course he was a bit nervous. He had recently stolen from this ship, he had recently hit on this first officer. Even more recently he had been unable to get this officer out of his mind. He had gotten off with him in mind after their last encounter. He had thought he might see him again, but he didn’t think he’d see him again so soon. Not in these circumstances. 

He stood beside Rand and watched as five Starfleet officers materialized on their transporter. Jim offered them his most charming smile, his gaze locked solely onto Spock. “Welcome aboard the Jolly Roger, folks.” He has his hands on his hips, the vision of authority and charm. “I’m Jim Kirk, captain of this vessel. We don’t have much spare room or anything, but what we have, we have to share.” He offered. “I assume you know where the Enterprise was headed, Commander?” The rank was said with a spark of mischief in his eyes, almost as if it were a joke.

”Altair Twelve.” Spock responded simply. 

Jim walked over to the comm on the wall. “Mr. Sulu, set a course for Altair Twelve warp-“ 

”Nothing above warp three!” Rand snapped. “You put a lot of strain on her getting us here. She needs a break.” She said, patting the transport controls with fondness. 

”Warp three, Sulu.” Jim said, shaking his head slightly. 

”We’ll be there in…a little over two days.” Sulu responded through the device. 

Jim looked back at their guests. “Well It seems you’ll be staying with us for a few days.” He looked thoughtful for a moment. “We don’t have many spare rooms. Two I think. You can split yourselves between them if you’d like.” He paused. “Commander Spock, I’d like to offer up the use of my quarters to you.” His eyes sparkled, the smile on his face showing that there was more to the offer than simple kindness. 

Spock raised an eyebrow. “Thank you, Captain Kirk, but I would prefer to stay with my team.” He responded, his lips pressed tightly together. 

Jim took the refusal with ease. He would’ve been more surprised if he had said yes. “I’ll show you all around the ship.” He said, starting off down the hall. “The only areas that are off limits are engineering and the bridge.” He explained as they walked along. “There’s the rec room, the cafeteria, my prep room.” He turned his head to the group. “Really it’s a multi purpose room.” He shrugged. They walked a little further. “This is my room, if you need me and I’m not on the bridge, then this is probably where you’ll find me.” They walked further. “And here are the empty rooms.” Jim gestured to two doors. “I’ll get someone to come bring some more pillows and blankets for you.” He clapped his hands together. “Any questions?”

“Do you have any medical facilities?” M’Benga asked, inspecting the rooms. 

”Are you expecting injuries?” Jim asked with an amused smile. “But of course. I assume you’re the doctor of the group?” 

”I am.” M’Benga nodded. 

”We’ve got our own talented doctor, Bones. I can call him over to show you around his set up if you’d like.” Jim offered. 

”I would enjoy that.” M’Benga responded. 

The group began to split off into groups. “Mr. Spock.” Jim said, gesturing for him to step away from the others. “I’d like to ask you to have dinner in my quarters with me tonight.” 

The corner of Spock’s mouth tilted downward in a frown. He had no reason to refuse. He didn’t even really want to refuse though he knew he should. He let out a breath. “I will come.” 

Jim frowned slightly. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to. You’re our guests, not our captives.” 

”I will come.” Spock repeated. 

Chekov glanced over at Scotty and M’Benga. “Do you think this pirate is erm…flirting with the commander?” 

“That seems like the situation.” Scotty responded glancing out of their room toward where the captain was walking away. “Mr. Spock could do worse.” Scotty shrugged, turning back into the room. 

”If he can seduce Mr. Spock, it’ll be a feat. Anyone who can seduce a Vulcan is surely worthy of them.” M’Benga chuckled.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly at this point, in my head this fic is called Space Pirates: Gay Pirates in Space  
> Anyways I really enjoyed this chapter (particularly the last bit). Hope you enjoy too and if you do let me know!

“Come in.” Spock took in a deep breath as he entered the Captain’s quarters. He held his hands behind his back. His grip only tightened as he saw Jim, lounging in a chair, a leg pulled against his chest, while the other dangled from the chair. Tight black leather clung to his legs, showcasing his powerful thighs, and a loose fitting white shirt covered very little of his chest. The neck dipped below his navel, and showcased most of the tan skin of his chest. 

Spock’s breath caught in his throat. He wished to turn around and run from the spectacle. His control was already frayed, solely by the appearance of the Captain, already looking so utterly inappropriate and enticing. 

“Nice to see you again. Commander.” Jim hummed, rising to his feet with a smile on his face. “I assume you and your team has found everything to your liking?” He asked with a raised eyebrow. 

Spock’s eyes fell downwards for a moment before he quickly realized that was a bad idea. Those pants left absolutely nothing to the imagination. He forced his gaze back upwards, the tips of his ears burning green. “Your hospitality is much appreciated.” Spock responded, his lips pressed tight together. 

“I’m glad to be able to offer it to you.” Jim responded. A smug smile grew on his face as he noticed Spock’s drifting gaze. He gestured over to the table he had set up in the center of the quarters. “Sit down, please.” He turned towards where his replicators were. “I know Vulcans are vegetarians, so I found a vegetarian casserole sort of thing. So I hope it’s good enough for you.” He offered, punching the code into the replicator. 

”That is…very kind of you.” Spock sat down, entwining his hands together in his lap. 

Jim flashed a smile over his shoulder and pulled two plates out of the replicator. He placed one in front of Spock and the other across the table. “Oh shit.” Jim murmured as he knocked his napkin off of the table, seemingly on purpose. He bent over at the waist, reaching down to pick up the napkin. He stayed in the position for longer than necessary. Spock knew what he was trying to do. His face flushed slightly as he averted his gaze. Jim hummed glancing over his shoulder as he rose to his feet and slid back into his chair. 

Spock cleared his throat, looking down at the meal in front of him and picking at it gingerly. He regulated his breathing carefully, hoping to ignore the blatant attraction he felt. 

”Alright, Spock.” Jim spoke up. “I’m not going to beat around the bush anymore. You know what I’m trying to do, right?” 

”You are attempting to seduce me.” Spock said hesitantly, his eyes raising to meet Jim’s. 

Jim let out a bark of laughter. “Yeah, I’m trying to seduce you.” He shook his head slightly. “Tell me, is it a lost cause?”

Spock blinked in surprise. ”What do you mean?” 

”Is there any chance that you’ll decide to sleep with me?” Jim repeated, leaning forward onto his hand. 

“I already told you, I am rooming with my team.” Spock lowered his eyes, knowing his response didn’t answer Jim’s question, but not knowing how to respond. Every illogical atom in his being was screaming at him to say yes, to accept the offer, if only for a moment of what would certainly be pure bliss. But he knew he shouldn’t. There was no logic to it. There would be consequences. Spock wished desperately for one of the only times in his life that he was just human, if only he could be capable of allowing himself this simple pleasure.

”You know that’s not what I mean.” The pirate responded, a knowing smile on his face as he pushed himself out of his chair. “Do you…find me attractive?” He asked with a shrug, leaning against the side of the table. 

Spock raised an eyebrow at the man as he tilted his head. “Of course. I am Vulcan, not blind.” A smile curled around Jim’s lips. Spock grabbed his glass, taking a long sip of water. He had suddenly become parched, although he knew the water wouldn’t sate him. 

“I believe its easy to see that I find you extremely attractive as well.” Jim said, taking another step towards the Vulcan. 

”I did not say extremely attractive.” Spock responded with an air of nonchalance that was at odds with his racing heart. 

Jim let out another laugh. “Alright, I’m probably more attracted to you than you are to me. But aren’t you curious?” He took another step towards Spock, lowering himself so he was eye to eye with the sitting Vulcan.

”Curious?” Spock was certain his breathy voice gave away the extent of his desire. Jim was within his reach, the skin he was showing, readily available, nipples scarcely hidden by the flowing white fabric. Spock’s tongue darted out to lick his lips. 

Jim’s eyes were quickly drawn to his tongue. He leaned closer to Spock. “Curious…” He tore his eyes away from Spock’s lips to his dark eyes. “This is the third time we’ve met in less than two weeks.” His voice was incredulous. “Don’t you feel like…like we’re being drawn to one another?” His voice held a soft sort of awe. It was a strange tone that had come over him considering the purpose of this meeting. 

”Perhaps that line would have worked on someone else.” Spock responded, decidedly unamused. 

”Not really a line.” Jim smiled up at him. “I mean…come on what are the odds of us meeting up so much?” 

”Astronomically small.” Spock admitted, the corner of his mouth tilting upwards. 

“Astronomically small.” Jim shook his head, slightly. “And yet, here we both are.” He put a hand on Spock’s knee. Spock’s eyes widened, but he made no attempt to move it. “That’s something special, isn’t it?” 

”I…I am not sure.” Spock said, looking into those burning hazel eyes. He felt as though a fire had started where the contact had and all too soon he would be consumed by the flames. 

”I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you since I first saw you.” Jim admitted, moving closer to Spock. “That’s not a line either. Some of my crew were concerned I was gonna get us thrown in jail for the chance to see you again.” 

Spock’s breath caught in his chest as Jim’s hands moved to either arm of his chair. “That is…terribly illogical.” He said, his eyes flickering between Jim’s hands and his lips. 

”Oh yes.” Jim chuckled softly. “We humans are often illogical.” Spock could feel his breath on his face. His eyes fell shut as he let out a shaky breath of his own. Jim pulled away, removing his hands from Spock’s chair and returning to his own chair. Spock’s eyes flew open at the loss of heat, he found his lips had been slightly parted and he had no doubt that his face was considerably flushed. “Your food is getting cold Mr. Spock.” Jim scolded with an amused smile and a pointedly raised eyebrow.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whaddup fam! Not to spoil anything, but be warned that this chapter gets a little spicy. Nothing too intense, but just intense enough, ya know? Cause we deserve it  
> Anyways if you’re enjoying this, come yell at me (in a positive way) either down in the comments or on my tumblr @spocksgotemotions (CAUSE HE DO)

So much of the evening was spent in silence. “Captain…Jim.” Spock said, pushing away his emptied plate. “There is something I do not understand.” 

”Only one thing?” Jim asked with a raised eyebrow. 

“Only one that matters at the moment.” Spock responded. “You are a charming, talented, young captain-“ 

”So the seduction’s on the other side now.” Jim teased. 

Spock pushed through his interruption. ”I am sure that Starfleef would gladly take you and your crew-“ 

”Starfleet doesn’t want me.” Jim’s carefree smile disappeared and was replaced by the stern look of a captain. “And if I’m honest, I have a bit of a grudge against them as well.” 

Spock’s brow furrowed in confusion. “What do you mean?” 

“You know the Kobayashi Maru?” Jim asked, looking down at the table. 

”Of course.” 

“Well…I was on track to be a captain. Going through it faster than almost anyone. We probably overlapped a bit in our time.” He flashed him a strained smile. “Then there was the Kobayashi Maru. And if you learn anything at all about me, Mr. Spock, it’ll be this, I don’t believe in no win situations.” 

”That is illogical.” Spock responded with a tilted head. 

“I don’t think so.” Jim shrugged. “If I believed in no win situations, then what would keep me trying my all. I have to believe there’s always a way to succeed.” He explained. “So I reprogrammed the Kobayashi Maru to reflect my beliefs. And so Starfleet kicked me out on my ass.” 

”You cheated.” Spock responded. 

”Not exactly.” Jim flashed him a small smile. “They never said I couldn’t reprogram it.” He let out a breath. “Anyways, I’m not too fond of Starfleet these days. I disagree with how they tend to run things.” 

”What do you mean?” Spock asked with a furrowed brow. 

”Their no interference policy.” Jim shrugged. “Bones joined my crew cause he hated that Starfleet let’s so many people from less developed planets just…die out. Uhura and Rand were on a backwards minded colony where they were being persecuted and they couldn’t find jobs, despite being two of the smartest individuals I’ve ever met. They built a communication device capable of reaching us, and Starfleet ignored them because that was the way of their colony.” Jim frowned, shaking his head. “If you have the power to do good, why would you ever stop?” 

”A noble mindset. Even if I do not necessarily agree with all that you say.” Spock said thoughtfully. 

”I’m not trying to recruit you Mr. Spock.” Jim said, leaning back in his chair. “Do I need to remind you of my goals for the evening?” He asked. 

“Seduction.” Spock responded, the smallest of smiles touching his lips. 

”Tell me, Spock.” Jim grinned, standing to his feet and walking over towards the Vulcan. “In Earth culture one of the most attractive things you can be is a rebel with a cause.” He leaned back against the table. “Is that true for Vulcans?” He asked with a raised eyebrow. 

“I cannot speak for all Vulcans.” Spock responded, matching Jim’s raised eyebrow. “We do not discuss our attractions openly.” He met Jim’s gaze. 

“But what about you?” Jim asked.

”I’ve already admitted I am attracted to you. What more do you wish me to say?” Spock tilted his head, looking up at the pirate. 

”I wish for you to act on that attraction.” Jim responded. 

”Vulcans do not-“ 

”Don’t tell me what Vulcans do or don’t do.” Jim leaned over Spock, putting his hands on either side of his chair. “Tell me what you want to do.” 

Spock took a moment just to look at the man, towering over him. Just to admire the way the low lighting shone through his hair and how his eyes grew dark. Spock saw the way the fabric of his shirt hung loosely against his chest. He glanced downwards and saw the way the leather clung to his legs. Spock knew what he wanted to do. It was not what a Vulcan would do. Perhaps not what a Starfleet Officer would do. He could regret this. But would he regret it more if he acted on his desire? 

Spock abruptly stood up from his chair, pushing Jim back onto the table. His hands flew to the sides of Jim’s face as he pulled him down into a bruising kiss. 

Jim’s eyes widened as he was pushed around, but he found he didn’t mind. Quite the opposite in fact. He pulled Spock closer to him, draping his arm around his neck. After a moment locked in the frenzied kiss, he pulled away slightly, his hands coming to cup his face. “That’s what you wanna do, huh?” He asked, his lip quirking upwards in a smirk. 

”And I would like to continue.” Spock responded, leaning back down and pressing his lips to Jim’s again. His hand sought out Jim’s, taking it from his face. His fingers traced up and down Jim’s. Spock delighted in the tingling sensation that followed the contact. 

Jim let out a soft groan. “Well that’s new.” He mused softly, pulling away to look at their hands, which had found their way into the Vulcan kiss. “Does that always happen?” 

”Are you always this talkative?” Spock responded, quirking an eyebrow. 

”You telling me to shut up?” Jim asked with a laugh. 

”Just that I believe your mouth can be put to better use.” Spock answered, leaning back down, and pulling Jim’s waist to press his hips against his own. 

Jim finally gave in, melting underneath Spock’s warm touch. He was surprised to find the Vulcan so demanding, so commanding. He let out a surprised breath as teeth scraped against his lower lip, as the hand that had been caressing his own traveled down to join the other at his waist. Jim felt dizzy and he knew he could easily become addicted to the warmth that seeped into his bones from Spock.

Jim pulled away slightly again, but this time there was no witty remark on his lips. He pulled his shirt over his head, his hands reaching for the bottom of Spock’s shirt, which he was disappointed to find covered up another shirt. This one a tight fitting black undershirt. “Any other shirts I should know about?” Jim quipped as his hands tugged at the shirt. 

Spock did not respond, his eyes taking in the expanse of golden skin before him. When his eyes met Jim’s again, Jim found they were darker. There was a hunger there that Jim was all too pleased to feed. “Bed or table?” Spock asked, his hands already beginning to explore the newly discovered terrain. 

”Bed.” Jim leaned up once again to nip at Spock’s lip. “These are the good plates.” He teased. 

Spock’s response took Jim’s breath away. Spock reaches around his waist and threw the man over his shoulder, as if he weighed nothing. Jim let out a laugh, pushing himself up onto his elbows as Spock laid him back onto the bed. “You’re full of surprises, Commander.” 

”I expect a few more may be in store.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoy and if you do, let me know! I love feedback!

Jim was still breathing heavily from their recent activity when he felt the Vulcan begin to shift away. “Where are you going?” Jim asked, rolling over to drape an arm over Spock’s chest. He ran his hand over the sparse dark hair on Spock’s stomach. “You’re not leaving so soon, are you?” 

”I did tell you I would be staying the evening with my crew.” Spock responded, raising an eyebrow as he looked down at Jim’s hand. 

”Really?” Jim asked with a laugh. “Even after we…” He looked up at Spock. “Don’t you wanna do it again?” He shifted his hand, finally feeling Spock’s fluttering heartbeat under his fingertips. 

”Again?” Spock repeated. “And what made you believe we would ‘do it again?” A wry smile touched the corner of his mouth. 

”We only have two days together before you’re back on the Enterprise and I don’t know if we’ll get another chance.” Jim said, propping himself up on his elbows. “The universe has been this kind, but she might not throw us together a fourth time.” 

”It would be…” Spock reached up, his fingers brushing over Jim’s face. “Extremely fortuitous if we were to meet again.” He took Jim’s chin between his thumb and forefinger, his thumb ghosting over Jim’s bottom lip. Jim’s tongue darted out to follow Spock’s thumb. An almost imperceptible shiver ran down Spock’s spine. 

”And I don’t know about you Spock, but you may be the best I’ve ever had.” Jim murmured, looking down at Spock. “I’m not ready to give that up after just one go.” 

Spock’s lip quirked upward. “The best you’ve ever had?” He pushed himself into a sitting position. “They must have been poor lovers.” 

”Oh, don’t doubt yourself, Spock-“ Jim began, coming to comfort the Vulcan. 

Spock let out a breath, amusement clear on his face. “That was my first experience.” He explained. 

”Wow.” Jim mused to himself. “I guess what they say about Vulcans is true.” 

Spock raised his eyebrows. “What do they say about Vulcans?” 

”Now I feel like I’ve built up your confidence too much.” Jim responded. “Now you try to seduce me.”

”James…” Spock purred, leaning towards Jim and pressing his face into Jim’s neck. 

”Fuck, okay, you win.” Jim responded. “I’ve been thoroughly seduced. Now will you stay.”

“I’m afraid I can’t.” Spock pulled away from Jim again, a small smirk on his face. “I must at least return to my quarters for a bit so Lieutenant Colbs does not get suspicious.” He sat up again, this time with little complaint from Jim. “Perhaps I will return once they have fallen asleep.” He threw his legs over the side of the bed, gathering up his clothing. 

Jim rolled onto his side, watching Spock with no small sense of awe. He was really incredible, lean and handsome. There was a tinge of green to his skin only barely noticeable in the low light. His skin was clear and smooth, no blemishes or bruises. Jim wanted to fix that. He wanted to take the perfect Vulcan skin and mark it up. Leave Spock with small reminders of his run ins with the pirate. The thought of only experiencing him the one time made his stomach drop. “You promise you’ll come back?” Jim asked with a small smile on his face as he watched Spock pull his undershirt on over his head. He was a vision in black. 

Spock glanced over his shoulder with a raised eyebrow. ”I promise nothing.” He responded making his way back over to Jim’s bedside. He leaned down giving the man one last lingering kiss. “But I will try.” 

Jim tried to follow his lips as Spock pulled away, but he knew he could only get so far before he was in danger of falling out of bed. He let out a breath, falling back onto his bed with a thud as he heard the door swish shut behind Spock. Truth be told, he hadn’t expected all of that when he invited Spock over for dinner. But he was overjoyed that that was how the evening went. And he wanted more. He needed more.

* * *

Spock couldn’t believe he just did that. Vulcans did not experience regret, and even if they did, Spock would not be feeling it. No matter the consequences, that one glorious moment was worth it. It had been so incredibly freeing. He closed his eyes and he could still feel Jim’s presence through the lightest of bonds formed through the great amount of skin to skin contact. He was still dizzy in the glow of it all. 

”Mr. Spock!” Chekov exclaimed, seeing the Vulcan walking towards their rooms. “How did the Captain uh…treat you?” He asked, looking Spock over for any obvious signs of a recent encounter. After not seeing any, he nodded to himself. “He did not make you uncomfortable did he?” 

”Uncomfortable?” Spock repeated with a raised eyebrow. 

”Yes, sir.” Chekov nodded. “I am not sure if you are aware, but the pirate captain has been…flirting with you, sir.” Chekov didn’t know why he continued to speak. He did always have a hard time knowing when to shut up. 

Spock felt the tips of his ears warm slightly. He hoped that it wasn’t something Chekov would notice. “Ah. Yes, the Captain has expressed an interest in seducing me.” 

”Ah, well…” Chekov rubbed the back of his neck. “If you need to have someone with you to make sure he stops, I would be willing to assist.” He offered awkwardly, praying that Spock refused him. He knew how to cockblock, but that wasn’t really a role he wanted to play around a man with a sword. 

”Thank you Lieutenant, but I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself.” Spock responded with a nod, turning and entering the room he was sharing with Colbs. 

Chekov watched him with scrutiny. “He didn’t…did he?” 

* * *

Jim waited up, humming to himself as he scrolled through articles on his padd. Someone requested access to his room. Jim threw on a pair of boxers, just in case before he opened the door. His face broke into a wide grin. “Hello, Commander. I was hoping you’d stop by again.” The door closed behind Spock. 

”I told you I would try.” Spock responded, walking towards Jim. “I tried and succeeded.” He placed his hands on Jim’s waist, pulling him closer. 

Jim smiled, wrapping his arms around Spock’s neck. “I’m glad.” He leaned up to kiss him, overjoyed that this was going to be happening again. 

”Captain?” A voice came over the communicator in Jim’s room. 

”Fuck.” Jim grumbled, pulling away from Spock and walking to the wall where his communicator was set. “What is it Wilson?” He demanded with a sigh. Spock approached from behind him. Once again he wrapped his arms around his waist, this time pressing his lips against the shell of his ear. 

“Captain, the Enterprise is approaching.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finished this last night but it was like 2am so…I publish now. Hope you enjoy it and if u do let me know! I love comments so much they give me So Much Joy.

“Well shit.” Jim ran a hand through his hair. He looked over at Spock. “I guess you’re gonna be free of me sooner than expected, Mr. Spock.” He let out a breath. “Start trying to hail them, Wilson. I’ll be up in a minute.” He said into the com. 

”That is…” Spock did not know how he felt about this turn of events. He watched Jim as he started to get dressed. He felt an ache in his side. “Do you really believe this shall be the last time we see each other?” He asked. 

”You tell me, Mr. Spock.” Jim flashed him a sad sort of smile. “What are the odds that out of the whole galaxy, we end up running into each other again?” 

“They are quite low.” Spock admitted. 

”And yet.” Jim straightened his back as he finished pulling on his boots. “I already told you, Spock.” He walked over to Spock, taking his face in his hands. “I don’t believe in no-win situations.” He leaned up into one final lingering kiss. 

Spock could not stop himself as a hand reached up to hold one of the ones on his cheek. He squeezed the hand once. “This has all been quite the…enlightening experience.” He said, pressing his forehead against Jim’s. 

”It was for me too.” Jim let out a soft laugh. “Alright, I gotta go greet your Captain.” He pulled away from Spock, holding his hand until he couldn’t anymore. “Hopefully he won’t throw me in jail since I have his precious crew.” He walked to the door. “Speaking of which, you should go share the good news.” He cracked a small smile as he disappeared. 

Spock was surprised that the captain trusted him enough to leave him alone in the room. He didn’t want to leave quite yet, although the knew he didn’t have much of a choice. He needed to go inform his team that they would be leaving soon. Spock took in one last breath, his gaze circling the room for…he did not know what he was looking for. His gaze locked onto his desk, where there was a shirt, ripped almost beyond recognition. Thread and needle were laid to the side.

Spock didn’t understand the urge that came over him, but he found he couldn’t stop himself as he grabbed one of the smaller strips of golden fabric. He clutched it in his fist, turning and leaving the room with it hidden in his hand. 

* * *

”Captain Pike.” Jim smiled at the view screen. “Lovely to see you again.” 

”You!” Pike exclaimed with wide eyes. “You’re that asshole!” 

”I prefer the term pirate.” Jim said, looking hurt. “Or Jim.” 

”Well you should get used to being called inmate.” Like responded. “Prepare to be boarded and taken into custody.” 

“Hold on a second, Captain.” Jim said, raising a hand. “I believe we have something you might like back.” 

Pike’s brows furrowed. “Have you held onto the dilithium crystals?” 

”No, but ya see the thing is, we were around Thetacron Seven when we heard a distress signal…” 

”No…” 

”Yeah.” Jim offered him an apologetic smile. “We rescued your landing party. And we have no intention of keeping them, but if your intent on capturing us, I’m afraid we’re going to have to keep them a little longer.” Jim shrugged. “Long enough to escape and get them to a star base at least.” Jim smiled. “What do you say?” 

The man grumbled. “Alright, fine. Send them over as soon as possible and then get out of my sight.” 

”Sounds like a plan.” Jim smirked. The view screen went back to the image of space before them. 

”You’re sure we can trust them?” Wilson asked, looking up at Jim. 

”Well, they’re supposed to be the good guys, right?” Jim offered her a smile. “I’m sure we’ll be fine.” He strode onto the turbolift. He let out a breath. Something in him already felt empty at the prospect of Spock leaving early. He wanted to kiss him one last time. Although he knew if he got that ‘last kiss,’ he’d say he needed another. He needed to start putting this behind him. Act like this had just been another conquest, another fling. Maybe that would make it easier to look into those dark eyes one last time and say goodbye. Especially since he knew, chances were slim that he’d ever get a chance like this again. 

“Well,” Jim smiled at their departing guests. “I hope you all had a lovely stay on the Jolly Roger. Tell your captain, we’re not so bad. Please think of us if you ever find yourselves stranded, and make sure to leave a five star review.” Jim joked, as the group got onto the transporter. 

“It has been fascinating.” Spock commented with a nod. 

”Thank you, Mr. Spock.” Jim offered him a real smile. “I can only hope I get the pleasure of your company again sometime.” He walked over to the console. “Enterprise, are you ready to receive your crew?” Once they received the affirmative, Rand sent the group over, and Jim watched Spock disappear. 

* * *

”How’d he treat you?” Pile asked as Spock stepped off of the transporter pad. “Swear to god if he was anything less than hospitable I will go get his ass.” 

”He was very hospitable, Captain.” Spock said. “He gave us almost free reign of the ship, and the two spare quarters available.” 

”He was very friendly, but this Captain was sweet on Mister Spock.” Chekov piped up. 

Spock felt the tips of his ears flush and he suddenly felt more aware of the scrap of fabric he had tucked away in his sleeve. He cleared his throat. “I am unsure of what precisely gave Mr. Chekov this idea, but I can assure you that we were in good hands.” He told Pike. 

”Well, that’s good.” Pike nodded, running a hand through his hair. “You guys go get some rest. I can’t imagine you slept well over there.” 

Spock found he agreed with his Captain, though certainly not for the reasons he suspected. Spock took in a breath as they entered the lift. He thought of the fabric in his sleeve and wondered why he even bothered to take it? What was the point? It was his second thoughtless action of the night. And yet…the first turned out rather well, so perhaps this would also end well.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> have som soft shit…let me know what y’all think I like how this turned out :)

“Captain, we have a primitive distress signal coming from Tyrisius.” Lieutenant Colbs said, looking up from the ships communicator. 

”Tyrisius…” Pike said thoughtfully, looking at the image of the planet on their screen. “Mr. Spock, what is the status of Tyrisius?” 

”First contact had been made several years ago, but they are not yet advanced enough to begin space travel. Nor should they be capable of interspace communication.” Spock informed him. 

”Then I’m afraid there’s nothing we can do.” Pike responded with a shrug. 

Spock glanced at Colbs, then to the image of Tyrisius, a blue-green planet, not entirely unlike Earth. He looked to Pike. “Should we not at least listen to the message?” He asked hesitantly. 

”We won’t be allowed to help them Spock, what is the point in becoming attached?” Pike asked, letting out a breath. 

”Perhaps there are extenuating circumstances.” Spock responded calmly. “There could be seismic activity or a Klingon invasion or-“ 

”Mister Spock,” Pike interrupted, holding up his hand. “There is no point to it. We can’t help them, there’s no reason to make ourselves more miserable because we can’t.” Pike ran a hand through his hair. “Continue in the path to Yoronto.” He commanded. 

Spock glanced from his station. His hand brushing over the piece of fabric that had become a bracelet as of late. Since his latest meeting with the charming swashbuckler, Spock had begun to notice more and more injustices, things that Star Fleet could easily be doing better but weren’t. Jim’s words also seemed to echo through his head in these situations, “I don’t believe in no-win scenarios.” 

”Captain,” Spock said. He faltered slightly as Pike met his gaze. “I respectfully disagree with your decision.” He said hesitantly. “I believe it is illogical to help when we have the capability to do so.” 

”I agree with you, Spock.” Pike let out a sigh. “I want to help as many people as possible, but Starfleet won’t let us. And believe me, Mr. Spock, we’re better off doing what we can up here than doing months of paperwork to make up for trying to help a planet we can do nothing for.” 

”I…understand.” Spock said slowly, looking back to Tyrisius, slowly slipping out of sight on the view screen. 

* * *

Spock had made all the preparations for meditation. He felt as though he truly needed it tonight. The issue of Tyrisius weighed on the back of his mind and it troubled him that they did nothing to help. They refused to even listen to their call for help.

Spock let out a breath, straightening his spine. He let his eyes fall shut trying to even out his breathing. But his normal meditative state refused to come to him. After several minutes of futile attempts at meditation, Spock scowled. He rose to his feet, beginning to pace the room, his mind searching for reasons why meditation wouldn’t come to him. Why was his mind so troubled as of late? 

He fell back onto his bed, letting his eyes fall shut as he attempted to pinpoint the issue. There was an aching, a longing in his chest. That had been the case since he left the Jolly Roger. His wrist felt bare. Spock opened his eyes, his gaze flickering over to where the strip of fabric he had taken from Jim sat on his bedside table. Spock grumbled as he reached over to grab the fabric and return it to its usual place on his wrist. He hoped this wasn’t the issue. He hoped James Kirk wasn’t the issue.

Spock pulled himself into a sitting position before he moved back to sit on his meditation mat. He let his eyes fall shut as he let out a deep breath. Almost instantly he fell into his meditative state, but it wasn’t like it normally was. Normally he saw himself on the sands of Vulcan, but now…he did not know where he was. There was green grass beneath his feet, a golden sun radiating warmth from a crystal blue sky. Spock understood less now then before. 

”Hello?” A voice called from behind him. 

Spock’s spine straightened as he came to the realization of what happened. He turned his head slightly and confirmed his suspicions as he saw him. 

Jim was walking towards him, confusion on his face. When he realized it was Spock, a grin crossed his face. “My subconscious does know what it’s doing.” He smiled as he came up to Spock. He sat down on the grass in front of him. “How’s it goin’ Dream Spock?” 

”Dream? Ah…” Spock nodded, moving to sit across from him. “I am well, and how are you…sleeping Jim?” He asked slowly. Spock did not know how to explain to Jim that this was not a dream. It was much easier to allow him to live in the conclusion he had come to. 

”Good.” Jim smiled. “Never knew I could lucid dream. Guess it’s a new talent.” 

”Indeed.” Spock said, with a raised eyebrow. 

”What’s that you’re wearing?” Jim asked, lifting the loose fabric of Spock’s sleeve between his fingers. 

”It is a Vulcan meditation robe.” Spock responded, looking away from Jim. He felt a hint of frustration rise in his chest. How was he supposed to work through his emotions when there was an incredible charming human here to distract him? 

”Somethin’ wrong Spock?” Jim asked, noticing his troubled expression. 

”If I am honest, yes. Something is wrong. At that something is you.” Spock responded, rising to his feet. 

”Yikes, harsh.” Jim said, leaning back on his arms to watch as Spock paced in front of him. 

”You have troubled me since we first met. I thought once I had taken you, perhaps I would be able to move past you. That was my own foolishness, I suppose.” Spock let out a sigh. “But now you have charmed me and I am completely under your sway, and on top of that, apparently we have a rudimentary bond of sorts.” Spock threw his hands up in frustration. 

”Huh?” Jim looked puzzled, slowly coming to his feet. 

”I am afraid this is not a dream, Jim.” Spock repeated slowly. “We are bonded and this is our shared mind space. This is where I will come when I meditate, and my assumption is that when I do so and you are asleep we will meet here.” 

Jim was scarcely paying attention. He stepped towards Spock, pushing up his sleeve and examining the fabric wrapped around his wrist. A small smile played at his eyes as he looked up at Spock. “I knew part of that shirt went missing.” 

”Jim, are you listening to me?” Spock demanded, face flushing slightly as Jim’s fingers brushed over his wrist. 

”I am.” He responded, his eyes returning to the scrap of fabric. “Any more complaints, Commander?” He asked with a fond smile, leading Spock to sit back on the grass again. 

”You have changed the way I approach our assignments.” Spock said softly, allowing Jim to hold his hand, fingers brushing over the back of his hand. 

”That so?” Jim smiled widely. 

”It is not amusing.” Spock scolded lightly. 

”Tell me all about it, honey.” Jim pressed a kiss to the back of Spock’s hand.

Spock’s face flushed green. “There is this planet, Tyrisius…”


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one was kinda hard, but I think it turned out p decent. Hope you enjoy it and if you do, def let me know! Thanks for reading!

Jim rolled over on his bed, pressing his comm. “Hey…con,” He couldn’t remember who was at the con right now. He was still half asleep and he was planning on going back to sleep. “Change course towards Tyrisius.” He ordered. 

”Are you sure, Jim? You sound tired.” Sulu commented warily. 

”Positive. If I happen to change my mind in the morning, remind me it was my idea.” Jim responded. “Warp four.” He yawned rolling back over and hugging onto a pillow. 

Jim always told himself he didn’t mind sleeping alone, but he loved having someone to hold. Or having someone to hold him. Or just sapping someone else’s body heat. Of course it didn’t help that he just finished a weird possibly psychic dream. Maybe nothing was wrong on Tyrisius and it was all in his head. That made more sense than him and Spock having a telepathic link. Even if Jim liked the idea that they had somehow bonded. And as odd as it was, he did like the idea of it. 

Spock felt like destiny. Spock felt like a missing piece falling into place or a perfect match. He felt like Jim’s biggest mistake and greatest achievement all at once. And if Spock was a mistake, he’s one Jim wants to make until he has no more choices left. 

Jim rolled onto his back and wondered if Spock was still meditating. If he drifted off to sleep again would Spock be there? If that was the case, Jim knew what he wanted to do. He didn’t mind helping Spock with his problems, but if he was given the chance again, Jim would take Spock’s face in hand and kiss him. He’d kiss him and ask him to come back. To meet him out on some Starbase and come aboard the Jolly Roger. He’d ask Spock to stay this time. He wouldn’t let him go so easily. He’d ask Spock if he felt this way too.

Jim let out a breath, closing his eyes. Spock would never choose him. Not over Starfleet, not over a semblance of normalcy. Spock resented feeling the way he did towards Jim. That much was obvious. He didn’t want a relationship, certainly not one with someone like Jim. Jim allowed himself a small smile. Even if he never saw Spock again, in or out of his dreams, he had something incredible. Something that would stick with him for years. 

* * *

Spock paced the floors of his room. He felt the very human urge to curse out of frustration. Meditation was supposed to help ease his problems, not illuminate another very prominent one. Somehow, despite not melding with the pirate captain, they had bonded. Spock went through the events of the evening in his mind. The action itself was careless, but in every other regard Spock was careful. But despite all the care he took, he was still far too reckless. 

Now when he closed his eyes he could feel the bond between them. The faint pulse of quiet contentment that came from the sleeping captain. Despite his frustration with the bond, it did provide a certain amount of comfort that Spock had not expected. It was…nice. Despite being light years away from him, Spock felt as though he were not alone. As though there was someone there supporting him and caring for him. 

An ache rose in his chest and Spock realized he missed Jim. The bond ached for them to be closer, not worlds apart. He longed for his touch and those glimmering grins. Yet Spock knew there was no choice. He couldn’t subject Jim to a bond he didn’t agree to. Nor could he easily bring Jim along with him. When they next came near Vulcan, he would request Jim’s presence so they could undo the bond. Perhaps T’Pau would also know what became of the woman he was supposed to be betrothed to. T’Pring had never wanted him, but perhaps she would assist him when his time came. He prayed it didn’t come any time soon. 

Spock closed his eyes, sitting back on his bed. He had bonded with someone, without meaning to, and without telling them any of the consequences. Jim knew nothing about their bond. Nothing about what that meant for him. Nothing about the vision they shared that evening. Jim may not even remember it the next morning. That thought made Spock’s chest ache even more than before. 

The situation was certainly less than ideal, and yet Spock couldn’t bring himself to regret anything. That night was the sort of thing, Spock never thought he’d get. He never thought he’d find someone that would desire him. Someone who wanted him like Jim did. Someone that could maybe care for him. Spock found he would gladly trade most of his nights for the few hours he spent within Jim’s sight. Nothing could compare to those bruising kisses, those murmured quips, the feel of his skin, cooler and smooth, underneath his hands. Spock could not regret it. 

If he never met anyone that made him feel the way Jim Kirk did, Spock would accept that. He would accept it because he had one glorious moment. He had a handsome, righteous pirate captain’s affection, if only for an evening. Spock let out a breath. Only for an evening. 

* * *

Jim didn’t know how far Tyrisius was from their previous course. The only thing he knew was that he was praying for it to be close by so he could figure out whether or not that had just been a dream. Spock occupied his everything thought. He couldn’t go more than ten minutes before he was distracted by- 

”Captain, I’m picking up a distress call from…Tyrisius.” Uhura said, glancing over her shoulder at him. 

Jim took in a deep breath, letting it out through his nose and letting his eyes fall shut. “Let’s hear it.”


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahoy! Plot ho! Wheeeeee. Idk what else to say, so enjoy and let me know if you do :)

Jim stood on the dark grey sands of Tyrisius. It was inhabited by a group of humanoid individuals. They had grey skin with long spindly limbs, bald heads, black eyes, and teeth that were just slightly sharp enough to notice. Jim met with the leader of a small village, his phaser in his belt, Rand and Sulu had come down as backup. 

”People have come down.” The village leader told Jim. “They return every few months with big machinery.” They said. “Sometimes, they leave things behind in the cave. That is how we called you.” The Tyrisian said, their long fingers curling together in a gesture that looked pleading. 

Jim nodded. “Why don’t you show us to the caves and we’ll see what we can do.” He offered. 

The village leader nodded, gratitude visible in their eyes as they began ambling across the sand. As they lead the crew towards the base of a mountain, they continued. “We found their…communication devices. That is how we were able to call for help.” They explained, looking back over their shoulder. “Ever since their first visit…something had happened to our waters. They assured us they would do no harm, and yet our people are growing ill. Our water is growing dark and thick as sludge.” They slowed down as they arrived at the base of a mountain, a cave entrance there. The leader looked skittish and yet they stepped inside with the rest of them. 

Jim saw a wide array of technology that the Tyrisians didn’t, or shouldn’t, have access too. It was mainly mining equipment. This didn’t have to be the Federation, it could have been any smuggler with enough money to invest. 

”Captain.” Rand called. She was squatting in front of something. She wiped her dusty hands on her pants as she rose to her feet. “It’s like you thought.” She said, kicking at a piece of scrap metal with the Federation logo emblazoned on it clear as day. 

Jim let out a sigh, noding his head. He glanced over his shoulder. “Sulu? You findin’ anything interesting?” 

”Yeah, I’ve found something interesting.” Sulu grumbled, walking up to Jim from his spot further back in the cave. “They’re dumping run-off and sewage off the side of the fucking mountain.” Sulu scowled, showing his findings to Jim. “The villagers water source originated up here and these assholes are polluting it.” 

”And they won’t even listen to the call to come help.” Jim let out a breath, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “Alright.” He looked to his crew. “Do you two think you could work together to make a water filtration system of sorts?” He asked. 

Rand and Sulu exchanged a glance. Rand nodded. “Give us a day or so to find the right blueprints and I’ll get it handled.” 

”Alright.” Jim nodded. He pulled out his communicator. “Beam up Rand and Sulu, and send down Bones for medical assistance.” He commanded. In a few moments he was once again face to face with the village leader, explaining the situation as best he could and explaining how they were going to help. 

”Thank you.” The leader said, tears brimming on the edges of their eyes, dark pools that matched the color of the eyes they came from. Jim nodded, putting a comforting hand on their shoulder for a moment before they moved on to see their hospital, a righteously furious Bones in tow. 

”They’ve got all the money and resources in the fucking galaxy, but they choose to do this?” He spoke to himself as he ran his tricorder over the body of a sleeping child, very ill and frail looking. Their skin almost seemed translucent. “They could get rid of their shit safely, but no, they decide to be dicks and poison kids and old people with their pollution.” 

“They’re not supposed to even be here.” Jim softly, shaking his head.

”Alright.” Bones pug aside his tricorder, digging through his bag for the right hypo. “How’d you know to come here?” He asked, looking at Jim after he administered the hypo. 

“I don’t think you’d believe me.” Jim mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck. 

Bones went over the child one last time with the tricorder, before nodding, seemingly satisfied. He pushed himself to his feet, groaning slightly. He slung his bag over his shoulder. “Try me.” He responded. “I mean you call the con in the middle of the night to change course to a planet we’ve never been to before. How’d you know they needed help?” He asked as they walked into the next hit where an older individual was resting in a chair with their eyes closed, rattling breaths coming from their chest. 

”You won’t believe me.” Jim let out a breath, afraid of making too much noise and waking up the Tyrisian. 

”After being in space so long, it takes a lot to surprise me.” Bones responded confidently. 

Jim looked away. “You know anything about Vulcan bonds?” 

”What the fuck does your dream booty call have to do with this?” Bones demanded, keeping his voice low. 

”Um so…” Jim ran a hand through his hair. “I slept with him when they were on board.” 

”Yeah, right.” Bones rolled his eyes. 

”I did.” Jim responded, slightly defensive, but not as offended as Bones expected. “And while we did that…somehow a telepathic bond formed.” He paused. “When I went to sleep the other night, he was there. Er…I mean in my dreams. And it was a lucid dream.” He tried to explain, gesturing vaguely. “He told me it was a bond. He apologized about it. He was really upset about something, a couple things maybe. I asked him what was wrong and…he told me about how they had received a distress call and that they’d been forced to ignore it.” He glanced away. “I promised him I’d do what I could.” He said softly. 

”If that’s true…” Bones let out a breath, shaking his head. “You’re fucked, aren’t you?” 

”I was fucked, if that’s what you mean.” Jim responded with a smirk. 

”Disgusting.” Bones responded, as he finished with the elder patient. “I meant, you really seem to be stuck on this asshole.” 

He averted his gaze from Bones. “I am.” 

”I hope you know what you’re doing.” McCoy shook his head. 

”I don’t.”


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yehaw, Pirates comin in! We got another lil shared mind/dream sequence here. Hope you enjoy, and if u do pretty please let me know because I get distracted easily and comments remind me what I should be working on.

These days, Jim looked forward to falling asleep for a completely different reason than the usual simple relief sleep offered. He wanted to see Spock. He wanted to tell him what they found out, what they were doing. He wanted to see if there were any other developments Spock would have him look into. If there was any way he could hold Spock again, for real. He would cherish it more this time. 

But each morning Jim awoke, disappointed. Not for the usual ‘not gotten enough sleep,’ but for the fact that it was another night without Spock. If it weren’t for the fact that Spock sent him correct information about Tyrisius, Jim would almost believe that it hadn’t been real. The thought made his heart ache. The ache felt more like a knife twisting in a wound when he came to the realization that Spock might’ve had a way to dissolve the bond. 

Jim tried to calm himself down. He tried to tell himself it didn’t matter so much. That Spock shouldn’t matter so much to him. But anytime he even thought so much, some small, desperate part of his brain started kicking and screaming. The same part of his brain made the idea of a severed bond feel like a knife to his heart. It didn’t make any sense. But Jim found things so rarely made sense anymore. Especially not when it came to feelings. 

It had been a week since they discovered Starfleet’s mining operation on Tyrisius. Jim ran a hand through his hair, trying to calm himself before bed. His mind always seemed to go a mile a minute in these quieter times. He flopped back onto his bed. He let his eyes fall shut and for a moment he just focused on the thought of Spock. “Come on.” He thought desperately. “Work.” 

* * *

Spock glanced at his meditation mat. He had not meditated since he met Kirk in their shared mindspace. He feared that if they continued to meet like that then their bond would grow stronger. But his mind was so troubled, and he was so tired. He didn’t think he could do this anymore.

He ran his hands through his hair, before he finally gave in and sat down on his mat. He let his eyes fall shut and he began the process of centering himself. He couldn’t stop the way his heart hammered in anticipation of seeing Jim. Despite his logical reservations, he longed to have Kirk in any little way he could. His katra sought out Jim throughout space. And even before Spock was fully centered, he felt himself pulled into the green fields of their shared mind space. 

Spock opened his eyes slowly, gathering his bearings. Then he saw him. He took in a sharp intake of breath and his heart ached in his side. “Jim.” He said, and despite being quiet and far away, Jim heard him. A grin came across the human’s face and Spock all at once Spock felt as though he were terribly lost and yet finally at home. 

”Spock!” Jim jogged over to him, grabbing his arms as soon as he reached him. “Spock, I-“ Jim bit his tongue to stop himself from begging Spock to run away with him. “I’ve got a lot to tell you.” He let his hands fall off of Spock’s arms, taking a step back as he remembered himself. 

”Is that so?” Spock raised an eyebrow as the pair moved to sit on the grass. “How are the people of Tyrisius?” 

”Better.” Jim nodded. “They water supply had been poisoned by Starfleet mining efforts on the planet.” 

”But Starfleet…” Spock let out a breath. 

”No organization as big and powerful as Starfleet can be completely without their faults.” Jim said slowly, putting a hand on Spock’s shoulder. He looked at him for a moment too long. Spock was truly beautiful. His dark eyes were turned downward, long lashes brushing his green tinted cheeks. Jim wanted to reach out and hold him. He wanted to kiss him. He wanted Spock to be next to him in real life instead of a dream. “We taught them how to filter their water and Bones patches up their sick as well as he could.” He said, moving his hand from his shoulder and glancing away. 

”Thank you for helping them.” Spock said slowly. “I am sorry I am unable to offer you recompense.” 

”Recompense?” Jim raised an eyebrow, amused. “I like to help. That’s one of the reasons I’m out here.” He leaned back on his hands. “Besides, the Tyrisians gave us a small pile of gold for helping them out.” He offered a smile. 

Spock pulled his knees to his chest. “I am glad then, that you got something from your dealings.” 

”Man’s gotta eat.” Jim shrugged, drawing a pattern through the grass. Spock watched his hands intently, wanting desperately to take them in his own, even though he knew this was not the real thing. 

”Jim-“ 

”Spock-“ They began at the same time. Jim smiled slightly. “We need to talk about something.” 

”I believe I wish to speak about the same thing.” Spock avoided Jim’s gaze. “In order to dissolve the bond we must meet on Vulcan before-“ He stopped himself. “Soon. Otherwise I fear my life or yours may be in danger. Even as weak as it is, there may be minor damage done when we try to remove it. We must act quickly or it will only become more difficult-“ 

”Wait.” Jim finally interrupted, moving to sit in front of Spock. “That’s not where I was going at all.” 

”Oh.” Spock raised an eyebrow. “Well whatever you wished to discuss, I assure you this is of more importance. As I was saying-“ 

“I don’t want to get rid of the bond.” Jim interrupted, grabbing Spock by his shoulders. 

”I-“ Spock blinked back his surprise. “Pardon?” His mouth felt dry, his hands felt sweaty. 

“This is…a little more serious than I’d want right out the gates of a relationship, but I want a relationship with you.” Jim said. “The first thing I did when I woke up last time was regret that I didn’t kiss you, because I really wanted to. I still really want to, even though I know this isn’t entirely real.” 

”Jim, you do not understand-“ Spock began. 

”Then explain it to me.” Jim responded, hands squeezing Spock’s arms before they trailed down to his wrists, where Jim found the scrap of fabric from his shirt. “It feels like we should be together, doesn’t it?” Jim met his gaze. 

Spock felt his heart skip a beat as a word came to mind. A word that had been nagging him since he first interacted with Jim, since he first discovered their bond. T’hy’la. He knew the word. It had been on the tip of his tongue, yet the ramifications of that word were too frightening to consider. Spock couldn't allow himself the thought. “I believe I must go.” Spock said, his voice quiet, but rough. “We will discuss this further…another time.” 

Jim wanted to argue, prepared the words, but all too suddenly he was awake in his bed, cursing both himself and the Vulcan that pushed him away.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things? Happening. I’m trying to write for stuff, but I never seem to have inspiration for the stuff I’m supposed to be working on. Anyways I managed to get this out.  
> Hopefully you enjoy it and if you do, please let me know!!! I live for that validation :D

Jim felt like screaming. He brought his fist to his mouth to fight back the urge. He was frustrated, to say the least. He felt like he didn’t have any control over the situation which was not something he enjoyed. Jim ran his hands through his hair, grabbing fistfuls of it in frustration. He stood to his feet beginning to pace. There had to be another way for him to contact Spock. He couldn’t simply allow the Vulcan to come and go as he pleased. He said nothing and whenever he heard something he didn’t like he left. It wasn’t fair. 

Jim couldn’t risk going after the enterprise, but maybe there was something else he could do. He walked over to his communicator, flipping it open. “Uhura, are you awake?” He asked. 

A moment passed before a grumbled response came back. “I wasn’t.” 

”Can’t it wait till the morning?” Rand’s tired voice could be heard in the background. 

”Uhura, tomorrow I’m going to be giving you a special assignment.” Jim said quickly. “There’s something I need you to start looking into.” 

”And telling me couldn’t wait to the morning?” Uhura asked with a yawn. 

”I…I wasn’t aware of how late it was.” Jim said softly. “My apologies, Uhura.” 

”I deserve an apology too.” Rand mumbled. 

”You too, Janice.” Jim allowed himself a small smile, though the simple domesticity cut him. 

”Don’t call me Janice.” Rand snapped back, before the comm line went off. 

Jim settled himself back on his bed. They were sweet together. Very fully in love. Kind of disgusting sometimes. That was the sort of thing Jim wanted. He didn’t think he’d ever find that sort of cloying love. Maybe he found it, but he’d never get to keep it. That was beginning to seem fairly likely. Spock…he didn’t understand. Or maybe he was right and Jim was being crazy. But Jim couldn’t just give this up. Not yet, not right now when it felt right.

* * *

Spock let out a breath, standing from his meditation mat. He ran his hands through his hair, looking around. Jim Kirk. Jim Kirk was the most frustrating man he had ever had the pleasure of dealing with. And yet it had been a pleasure. Kirk was frustrating and narcissistic, but he was clever and kind. He was quick witted and passionate. Even now their bond was soothing and comforting in the back of his head.

How could he convince Jim to dissolve the bond when Spock didn’t even want to? And how could he do it before it was too late? If there was a too late for him. Spock sighed, looking at himself in the mirror. He fixed his disheveled appearance, adjusting his robe slightly. He decided to forgo his robes, changing back into his Starfleet uniform. His eyes lingered on the scrap of fabric tied around his wrist. He wanted to take it off. Try to ignore Jim Kirk for the evening. Another, louder part of him refused to even consider removing it.

Spock left his quarters. He stalked through the corridors despite the fact that he had no purpose and only had a vague sense of where he was going. He decided once he got to the turbolift that he would go to the observatory. It had been too long since he had made the trip. He hoped that perhaps the vision of the stars would help him settle his thoughts. 

He walked with the same determination and ease he always had. But when he arrived on the observation deck, he faltered. There was a figure there. He could barely see him in the dim light of the ship’s night. 

”Spock?” 

”Captain.” Spock greeted. “I apologize, I did not know you were here. I will leave.” 

”No, no, you’re fine.” Pike assured him, waving him over. “Join me.” He offered, scooting over on the bench. Spock stood beside the bench, deciding not to sit. Pike was unsurprised. “Somethin’ on your mind?” Pike asked. 

Spock hesitated for a moment. “Many things.” He finally answered. “I have been…unable to meditate lately.” 

Pike nodded. “I’ve also got a lot on my mind. Haven’t been sleeping well since…” His mouth turned to a fine line. “Remember Tyrisius?” He asked, glancing up at Spock. “Something about it bothers me.” He let out a breath. “They said no exceptions, don’t answer their calls but…it was a call made from our equipment.” He ran a hand through his hair. “The whole thing…it’s shady as hell, Spock.” 

”Indeed.” Spock commented. 

“I’m sorry.” Pike shook his head. “My own paranoia. What’s troubling you, Spock?” 

“It is…difficult for me to speak about.” Spock avoided the Captain’s gaze. He trusted Pike and had come to see him as a friend. But he knew he couldn’t disclose the fact that he had formed a bond with one of Starfleet’s enemies. “Captain, do you recall Chekov’s first comment upon our return from the Jolly Roger?” 

”Something dumb, I’m pretty sure.” Pike responded. “Why?” 

”He said the pirate captain was…” Spock cleared his throat. “Sweet on me.” 

”Uh-Huh.” Pike didn’t know how to respond. 

”He was correct. The captain made his intention of…seduction, quite clear.” Spock looked away. “Now I find myself…conflicted.” 

Pike really couldn’t believe he was having this conversation with his Vulcan first officer. He ran a hand over his hair. ”Spock, if you want to let go and find a chance for relationships of…that nature, then by all means go ahead, but anyone else. Please.” He let out a chuckle. “He’s…he’s so frustrating.” Spock nodded, but otherwise said nothing. 

”Stars are beautiful out tonight.” Pike said after a moment. “Almost makes me glad I haven’t been able to sleep.” 

”Indeed.” 

* * *

“Okay, Jim, I understand wanting to send messages that can’t be detected.” Uhura admitted, leaning against a table in the empty rec room. “But why to a Starfleet Officer?” 

Jim bit his tongue. He should’ve realized that would be a question. “It’s…it’s none of your business, okay?” He said, trying to wave off her concern. 

”As a member of your crew, it is.” Uhura responded with a raised eyebrow. “Interacting with a ‘Fleet Officer- you could get us killed or thrown in prison!” She exclaimed, throwing her hands up. “I don’t even want to think about risking it unless A) you’re absolutely sure this person won’t sell us out, and B) you have a good reason.” She crosses her arms over her chest. 

”You’re saying you think you can do it?” Jim asked. 

“I’m saying I need a reason and I need reassurance before I even start to try.” She let out a sigh. “Why do you wanna do this? Who are you trying to get a hold of?”

Jim let a laugh out through his nose, avoiding her gaze. “You’re not gonna like it.” 

Uhura stared at him for a moment. “God, Jim-“ She groaned. “If the Vulcan didn’t wanna fuck you before what makes you think he changed his mind.” 

”Well actually…” Jim rubbed the back of his neck. 

”Oh my god, you didn’t.” Uhura said with wide eyes. “How the hell did you swing that?” 

”It’s…a bit of a long story.” Jim cleared his throat. 

“I’ve got the time and the patience.” Uhura hopped onto the table. “Tell it.”


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yehaw like letters but video letters. It’s late and idk what else to say so…enjoy. Let me know if you do :D

Uhura tapped her fingers on a computer, doing something Jim couldn’t hope to understand, as Jim stood to the side and pretended he did understand. She made a face as she worked, tapping another few items before she paused for a second. 

”So?” Jim asked, arms crossed over his chest, one hand on his face as he waited anxiously. 

”Wait…” She held up a perfectly manicured finger. She watched the screen intently for a moment before she nodded to herself. “Okay, I believe I got the subspace messaging up. You may want to avoid naming him in your first message just to be absolutely positive that I got the right destination but other than that it should be good.” She pushed her chair back from the desk, standing to her feet and stretching. “It should be encrypted until it reaches his terminal, but I’m not entirely positive about that yet either. So for this first message you shouldn’t say his name or any incrimination information about us or where we are.” Uhura nodded, dusting off her skirt. “Got it?” 

”Got it. Thank you so much.” Jim nodded, moving to sit in the chair she vacated as Uhura headed towards the door. 

”Good luck, Romeo.” Uhura smiled slightly, watching him for a moment before she left the room. 

Jim stared at the screen. Now that he got it, he didn’t know what to say. He pressed record. “Hey Sp- shit.” He cursed, moving to delete the short video. He let out a breath, running a hand through his hair. “Hey.” He said, offering a small smile. “This is…this is just a test. Make sure it’s going to the right person. We need to talk. Without you being able to cut me off.” He paused. “I mean technically you could still cut me off, but I wouldn’t know so…” He shrugged. “I guess…let me know if this reaches you.” He felt like he should say something else. “I…” I miss you? That felt too serious. “I hope this works.”

* * *

Spock walked into his quarters, immediately releasing most of the tension of the day from his shoulders. His mind was still pulled in a million different directions as he sat down to his desk to record a log on the day’s instances. He paused, looking curiously at the notification of an encrypted message sent over subspace. It had been sent directly to him from an unknown source. His brow furrowed and he frowned slightly. This was unusual and highly irregular. Starfleet would send encrypted messages through subspace on occasion, but never directly to him. They would send them to the captain or the bridge or the ship as a whole. 

Spock tapped on the notification to play the message. His breath caught in his throat as Jim Kirk’s face filled the screen. He looked nervous and…tired. There were bags under his eyes as though he hadn’t had a good night’s sleep in weeks. His hair was slightly mussed up, not the perfectly done curl that Spock saw in their link, but something more chaotic and real. Spock’s heart ached in his side with a longing he detested. 

He didn’t want this. He didn’t need this. He didn’t know how Jim managed to send a secure message to him and he wanted to try and turn the message in. Pretend he never got it. But at the same time some small part of Spock was touched and almost…giddy with the message. 

He watched it again and again, paying attention to the subtle movements of Jim’s face. The way his lips curled into a nervous smile that wasn’t entirely genuine, more like a defense mechanism against his own discomfort. Spock watched the way his hazel eyes flickered from the screen to the rest of the room. The gentle rise and fall of his chest. Spock analyzed every move he made. He knew he had to return the call. He never had a choice.

* * *

Jim didn’t expect to hear back from him so soon. But the notification put a wide smile on his face as he sat in front of the screen the next night.

Spock looked exasperated and vaguely frustrated. “Your message reached the correct individual, unless you did not message to try and speak with me. In which case this was likely a fortuitous accident.” Jim felt his heart skip a beat and a smile grew on his face as he listened to Spock use pointlessly big words. “I assume you wish to continue our argument from the last time our minds met.” He let out a breath. “You do not understand the consequences of a Vulcan bond, nor do I believe you’ve thought through the fact that you are a wanted criminal and I am a high ranking Starfleet Officer.” He explained. “Jim…there is so much you do not know and you are not prepared for.” His eyes flickered away. “It is not for a lack of…” He swallowed. “Interest that I say this. I genuinely believe it is in both of our best interests if we dissolve the bond as quickly as possible.” 

Spock paused for a long moment, eyes flickering to the screen every few moments. He opened his mouth on occasion, as if he had something he wanted to say, but he didn’t know how. Then he’d close his mouth and the words would go unsaid. “I…I trust this message finds you well.” Spock mumbled, the recording quickly going dark. 

* * *

Spock would deny the fact that he was looking forward to the end of his shift. He wasn’t really. He just wanted to see if Jim had sent another message and that wasn’t exactly something he could do while on the bridge. Vulcans did not really hope, but Spock hoped that Jim wouldn’t need anymore convincing. He hoped that Jim would simply agree to meet him at Vulcan and they could put all of this behind them. He should’ve known Jim Kirk didn’t make anything easy. 

“Maybe I don’t understand the complexities of a Vulcan bond.” Jim admitted. “Then explain them to me. Explain the risks and rewards and we’ll decide together what we want to do, cause right now it hurts to see you and not be able to hold your or kiss you or…” Jim cut himself off, gesturing wildly around him. “And I resent your statement that I didn’t think it through. I had an officer create a secure subspace channel for the sole purpose of being able to interact with you without being spied on. I’ll figure something out.” Jim said, burning eyes locked into the screen. It was a look that sent a shiver down Spock's spine and sent a wave of silent wonder rolling over him. “I don’t believe in no-win scenarios.”


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I took a four hour nap this afternoon, then I stayed up and wrote this. Enjoy! If you do let me know, and check me out on tumblr @spocksgotemotions (cause he do) if that’s your sorta thing

Spock stared at the screen he had been staring at for close to an hour. He didn’t quite know where to begin. His heart had started to slow from the rapid pace it took when he heard Jim Kirk’s last words over the message. He saw his own face in the darkened screen of the computer. He did not like the image of the man he saw staring back, desperate, flustered…un-Vulcan. He let his eyes fall shut, shooing his reflection from his mind’s eye. He sucked in a breath through his nose. He did not have the time to argue with him. A large part of him didn’t want to argue, a part of him that was growing larger each day. 

He opened his eyes, pressing the record button on the screen. “Jim Kirk, you will live to regret it should our bond remain.” Spock said, surprised at the husky voice that escaped his throat. He quickly deleted the recording, clearing his throat. He took in a steadying breath before he pressed play again. “Jim Kirk, I can assure you, you will regret it should our bond remain in place.” He said. “There are many things you do not know about Vulcans. We are a…” He glanced away from the computer screen, as if Jim would see the truth in his eyes. “Private people. We do not easily allow outworlders knowledge of our practices.” He looked thoughtful for a moment, trying to think of what would most upset his accidental bond mate. “Vulcans bond for life, you know. You will find it extremely difficult to…perform with any other individual. There will only be me for you. There will be no other partners. Do not deprive yourself of life’s pleasures for the sake of winning an argument.” He said, his voice almost pleading. 

* * *

Jim scowled at the screen. “I don’t care!” He snapped. He had grown irritable, especially where Spock was concerned. He was frustrated in several ways and he found no relief in his usual distractions. “Spock, ever since we met, actually met, there were no others. There could’ve been no others.” Jim said. “I want you, dammit!” It was more than that though. He stopped himself from grabbing onto the computer screen. “I need you, Spock. You don’t understand but I need you, I don’t care about the consequences. I want to be with you.” 

When it came to relationships, Jim never thought himself to be the clingy, desperate one. He never thought he’d be the one to beg for anyone. But he loved Spock. Something deep within him called for Spock to come whisk him away. Jim didn’t care if he got carted off to a Federation prison immediately afterwards as long as he saw Spock. “Spock…” 

”Jim?” McCoy’s voice came over the comm. 

Jim scowled, ending the recording and sending it without caring how he sounded on it. “What?” He demanded. 

”God, I was just gonna ask if you wanted to play cards.” Bones grumbled. “If I knew you were in such a piss poor mood I would’ve decided losing to Rand was better.” 

“I’m not in the mood.” Jim answered, a frown still on his face. 

”I could’ve told you that.” The doctor responded. “What’s wrong?”

”Nothing you can help with.” Jim huffed, leaning back in his chair. 

”The Vulcan again?” McCoy groaned. 

”Shut up.” Jim responded, turning the communicator off. Jim couldn’t explain his frustration. Bones wouldn’t understand. No one would understand.

* * *

Spock took in a shaky breath, staring at the recording downloading onto his computer. He was already much more compromised than he usually found himself. His work was decreasing in efficiency. He ached for the bond mate that he knew was likely in a similar state of disarray. And Jim didn’t even know what was happening. A wave of guilt wracked over Spock. The man did not know what afflicted him, nor was he capable of controlling himself like the Vulcan was. Spock reached out to press play. 

“Spock?” His captain called over the comm. 

Spock felt like screaming. “Yes, Captain?” He restrained himself, his voice sounding labored. 

”May I come in?” Pike asked. 

Spock hesitated for a moment, his eyes lingering on the still image of Jim Kirk. He powered off his computer. “Yes, sir.” He responded, moving to his feet, hands clenched in fists behind his back. “What do you need, sir?” 

Pike could see the smalltalk he prepared was unnecessary. “I suppose I could ask the same of you.” 

Spock blanched. “Pardon?” 

”You think I wouldn’t notice?” Pike raised an eyebrow. “I may not be quite as perceptive as you, but I’ve got eyes.” He said, moving more into the room. “You’re irritable, you’ve been snapping at some of the ensigns and lieutenants. You’ve been eating even less than you usually do. Something’s wrong, isn’t it, Spock?” Pike questioned, coming towards his first officer. 

Spock immediately took a step back. He paused, staring down Pike as if measuring his worth. “I am…” He turned his gaze. “I am experiencing something that all Vulcans go through at this age.” He said slowly. “A certain madness, most would no doubt find distasteful.” He paused again. 

”What can we do to cure it?” Pike asked, allowing Spock his space. “Is this something M’Benga could help with?” 

”No.” Spock shook his head. “I must go to Vulcan. Only there can I be treated.” 

”I’ll see what I can do to get you there as soon as possible.” Pike nodded. He turned to the door. “That wasn’t so hard, was it?” He asked with a small smile, that Spock did not return. 

”Indeed.” Spock responded dryly, already moving back to the computer. He turned it on after Pike left. He watched Jim, feeling his heart clench in his side and blood rush below at the sight of him, frustrated and disheveled. 

”Jim.” He breathed desperately to the recording. “Jim we must meet on Vulcan. If you wish to dissolve the bond or not, we must meet. You have likely noticed yourself behaving strangely and I must apologize for it is my fault. I had hoped to dissolve the bond before this occurred, but you were too stubborn.” He paused, trying to decide what to say, but Jim needed to know what he was getting into. “Every seven years, Vulcans face the Pon-Farr. A sort of madness overtake us and our bondmates. We must meet and…” He cleared his throat. “We must consummate our bond, mind and body. If we do not meet or dissolve the bond, the consequences will be harmful for us both.” He tried to explain. “Jim, I…I fear I will not be gentle. I will not be in control of myself, I will not be myself. I beg you, Jim. Please think about what you need and want, what is best for you. If it is not me I will understand, but you must tell me soon.” He pleaded. 

* * *

”Sulu.” Jim opened the comm. “Set the course to Vulcan.” He demanded. “I’ll explain later.”


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woohoo, they’re together in the same place again! Worked on this early cause I felt like it. Hope you enjoy and if you do let me know!

”How fast can we get to Vulcan?” Jim demanded, stepping onto the bridge. 

”It’ll take us at least two days at warp 6.” Sulu responded, rushing out of the Captain’s chair. 

”What about warp 8?” Jim asked, falling into his chair. 

”Jan wouldn’t like that…” Uhura warned, lightly. 

”How long?” Jim snapped. 

”Little under a day and a half.” Sulu answered, confusion coloring his face. “Jim, what’s going on? Why do we need to go to Vulcan?” 

”It’s…difficult to explain.” Jim suddenly lost his vigor, and the crew saw he was tired. He looked sick. He ran a hand through his hair. “I know you may not believe me, but I’m pretty sure…I’m going to die if I can’t get to Vulcan soon.” 

”You’re not fucking dying on my watch.” Bones grumbled from the door to the bridge. He stormed down, grabbing his arm and pulling him out of his chair. “Melodramatic asshole.” 

* * *

Bones stared at his medical equipment incredulously. “Okay, what the fuck did you do to yourself?” He demanded. “Your heart rate is twice what it should be, your hormones are all out of whack.” He shook his head, looking at his charts. “There’s so much wrong with you I don’t even know where to begin. What did you get yourself into?” 

”It’s difficult to explain.” Jim rubbed the back of his neck. 

”Explain.” Bones demanded. 

”You know how I bonded with Spock?” Jim asked awkwardly. 

Bones’ eyes narrowed. “You bonded with him, what? A month ago? And these weird symptoms started just now?” 

”Ever heard of something called Pon Farr?” Jim asked hesitantly. 

”Jim, you know Vulcans keep their secrets locked tight. Is your body rejecting the bond or some shit?” McCoy demanded with an exasperated huff. 

”No.” Jim shook his head. “Kinda the uh…opposite.” He cleared his throat, glancing down. 

”The opposite?” Bones repeated, not sure exactly what Jim was trying to say. 

”Vulcans appear to have a uh…mating cycle.” Jim responded hesitantly. “During it the Vulcans and their mates go into a state of madness that leads to death unless-“ 

”So all of this is preparation for you to go have sex in a desert?” Bones snapped. 

”Kind of!” Jim snipped back. “Look I didn’t know this would happen either. All I know is I need to get to Vulcan and soon.” 

”Horny asshole.” Bones huffed. “Well I guess the best advice then is to stay hydrated and don’t stop eating. Your metabolism is at an alarming rate and you need the energy.” 

Jim nodded. “Thanks. Now can I please go back to my bridge?” He demanded. 

”Be my guest.” McCoy gestured. 

* * *

“When will we arrive on Vulcan?” Spock asked Chekov, clenching his fists at his sides to keep them from shaking.

”A little over a day, sir.” Chekov answered. “May I ask, is this simply shore leave or is there a family emergency-“ 

”You may not ask.” Spock snapped. He took in a breath, trying to calm himself. 

”Mister Spock.” Pike called the man over, raising a brow. “Why don’t you go take a break in your quarters? This…thing is making you scare the ensigns more than usual.” He teased lightly. 

”Thank you Captain, but I am fine.” Spock responded with gritted teeth. 

”Do I have to make that an order?” Pike responded, amusement leaving his face. 

”No, Captain.” Spock let out a breath. 

”Take care of yourself.” Pike ordered lightly. Spock left the bridge. 

He entered his quarters, immediately moving to his meditation mat, searching for any peace he could find. But meditation brought Spock no peace. Jim wasn’t there. He should have known Jim wouldn’t be there, but still he longed for the brief respite that would arrive just with the sight of him. 

He looked at the clock, seeing there were still hours until his arrival on Vulcan. He felt his blood rushing through his veins, burning a path through his body. “Captain.” He was surprised by the harsh quality of his voice. “Captain, is there anyway we can go faster?” He asked. Jim was already on Vulcan, he could tell. Jim waited for him. 

“We’re doing the best we can.” Pike said, irritation in his voice. “This is already a detour on our trip, Mister Spock.” 

”Apologies.” Spock turned off his comm. He took in all the air he could, walking back to his meditation mat, trying to keep the worst of it at bay. He could hold out for a few more minutes. He only hoped Jim could wait. 

* * *

”Jim, I’m not leaving you all alone on this strange planet to have wild sex with a guy who isn’t even here yet.” McCoy scolded, watching Jim as he paced around the arena. 

”He’ll be here.” Jim snapped. “He has to. If he doesn’t show up, he’s dying and dragging me down with him.” He continued his frantic pacing. “Besides, he’s getting close. I can feel it.” 

”You can feel it? Where?” Bones teased idly. “Ya know, if you died from being horny, I feel like that’d be pretty poetic.” 

”McCoy, you need to stop with the jokes.” Jim snarled. 

”Alright, alright.” Bones threw his hands up in surrender. “I understand you’re stressed. You’re all horned up and nervous about getting alien married.” 

”I’m actually not nervous about that at all.” Jim said thoughtfully, stopping his pacing. “This bond…it’s really nice. Like a reminder that there’s always someone out there that just…cares about you.” He swallowed. “I’m ready to be Spock’s and for him to be mine. Whatever that means.” He took in a steadying breath. “I just…need him here soon.” 

“That just sounded gross.” Bones shook his head slightly. “I still don’t know if I support this. He’s Starfleet, Jim.” 

”He’s good though.” Jim insisted. “He’s kind and willing to break the rules to do what’s right.” 

”But what if he puts us in danger?” Bones let out a sigh. 

”He won’t.” Jim snapped. “He loves me.” 

”Jim, he can’t.” 

”Jim!” There was a hoarse voice that called Jim from the entrance into the arena. 

”Spock!” Jim felt immediate relief as he saw the Vulcan. They ran to the other, meeting in the middle, arms immediately entwining in an embrace, lips crashing together in a kiss that felt like two dams bursting simultaneously. “Spock…I” 

”I understand, t’hy’la.” Spock murmured, hand reaching to stroke Jim’s cheek. “Jim…you must understand what you’re getting into, please-“ 

”I understand.” Jim assured him, leaning into Spock's touch. “Spock, I understand and I don’t care. I want this, I want you.” He leaned back up to kiss Spock again, more desperately than the last kiss. He finally felt alright again. Spock in his arms, Jim felt whole. He vaguely registered McCoy saying goodbye. 

”Jim.” Spock pulled away slightly, swallowing. “There is a place…” 

”Let’s go.” Jim said immediately, swallowing the words in another kiss. 

Spock nodded, starting to walk towards a hut just out of sight of the arena. “You are certain?” 

”Are you going to ask me that every five minutes?” Jim cracked a smile, entwining his fingers with Spock’s. 

”I am afraid once I read the plaktow, I will…not quite care for your state.” Spock glanced away, swallowing. “I want you to understand what Pon Farr entails.” 

”We have a lot of crazy sex.” Jim nodded. 

Spock cringed. “I suppose that’s a way to say it.” He opened the door to the hut. It was a small building, just a bedroom with a bathroom to the side. “I requested rations for the room for your convenience.” 

Jim glanced at the rations to the side. “Spock, honey, I appreciate it, but I think I’ll be okay.” 

”You can go three days without drinking?” Spock inquired, brow furrowed. 

”Three days?” Jim said in awe, part of him excited by the prospect. 

”Indeed.” Spock nodded, concern touching his face. “If this frightens you, you do not need to do this.” He cupped Jim’s face in his hands. 

Jim pulled Spock down into another desperate kiss. He nipped at his bottom lip. “Let’s get started.” He hummed.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kinda a filler chapter, but still enjoyable anyways I hope! I’m sorry it’s been a while, school’s been keeping me busy.  
> But if you do enjoy, please let me know! Comments help inspire me to update more!

Jim grabbed the cup of water that had been placed to the side. He downed it in a few seconds, still feeling thirsty once he finished it. He glanced over at Spock. It wasn’t over, but there was a lull in activity, Spock falling into a sleeping state after their last round. Jim knew he needed to rest too, but he was so thirsty. He moved slowly to his feet, wincing slightly. Everything was sore in the best way possible. It all ached, but it ached with a knowledge of love and joy and wild, phenomenal sex. 

He grabbed the cup, walking over to the replicator and refilling it with water. He drank from the cup, walking back to the bed. He put the half full glass on the bedside table, trying to sit on the bed without disturbing Spock. He shifted, moving to lie down, worrying every movement would startle him. Nothing woke him up, he was out like a light. Jim let out a breath of relief. Spock needed the rest. He yawned, finally lying down. So did he. 

He rolled over to face Spock, and he couldn’t stop himself from staring. He was beautiful. The hair that was normally perfectly set was askew, his brow sweaty, his lips parted. Sweat shined on his forehead, a green flush hit his face and ears. Unraveled, Spock was one of the most beautiful things Jim had ever seen. In theory he understood why Spock was so hesitant to talk about it all, but really…he was everything Jim wanted. Jim leaned forward, kissing Spock gently. Spock didn’t stir, save for a contented sigh that rose in his chest.

Jim fell onto the bed beside Spock, covering himself with a sheet, and rolling over to drape an arm over Spock’s chest. He let his eyes fall shut with a warm contentment he hadn’t felt since he was a child, napping in the midday sun on a sick day. The feeling of being completely safe and cared for and so very warm. A bone deep tiredness that came so rarely and was almost relished for the lethargic feeling. He fell asleep quickly. 

* * *

”Is there any way we can check up on the Captain?” Sulu asked with a sigh, laying his hand down on the poker table. 

”It’s for the best if we don’t.” Bones responded, an equal amount of frustration as he folded. 

”How much longer do you think this thing’ll last?” Uhura asked, smiling as Rand collected her winnings from the chip pile. 

”Not sure.” McCoy admitted. “All the things I read about this are pretty vague about the cure time. Could be anywhere from three days to a week.” 

”A week?” Sulu demanded. “Can’t they just give him a hypo and go?” 

”Not that easy with this.” Bones shook his head. “It’s a…very complicated disease.” He let out a sigh. “Saw him at his worst while he was down there it was…bad.”

* * *

Spock woke up several hours later, a need stirring in his chest. But it wasn’t urgent enough to worry about. He allowed his eyes to stay shut, sighing slightly as he moved closer to Jim. The human’s skin was cooler than Spock’s, despite the fact he knew it was elevated. He reached out, his fingers brushing over Jim’s hand. Jim’s response was to take the hand in his. 

Spock briefly wondered if Jim was awake. He opened his eyes, glancing over to Jim. His chest fell steadily, his eyes were still closed. Spock let out a breath, slightly disappointed. But he found it difficult to be too disappointed when he was allowed to just look at the incredible man that laid beside him. Jim’s hair was plastered to his forehead by sweat. He seemed to practically glow golden in the evening light streaming in from the windows. Spock followed the lines of his chest with his eyes, drinking in the sights he hadn’t been able to appreciate during their first affair. Jim was well built, strong and sturdy, with thick biceps and calves. He was all curves, a body shape so exotic and enticing to Spock. On Vulcan they were built of points and sharp lines, a good parallel for the hardness of their logical society. Humans were much softer, in both their physiques and their emotions. 

Spock wanted to let go with Jim. Jim made him feel safe and comfortable just being. He didn’t have to be pure logic when he was with Jim. Jim didn’t expect it. Spock closed his eyes and allowed himself to revel in their closeness and the bond that flowed freely between them. He could be himself with Jim. What that meant, he wasn’t quite sure yet. But he knew it would be good. It had to be if it was coming from Jim. 

Some stubborn, realistic part of him thought about the future. Living in this hut with Jim was perfect, but he knew it wouldn’t last. In another day or two it would be over and they’d have to go their separate ways. The thought of it ached. Spock didn’t want to let Jim go with the thought that he might not see him in person for months or even years.

”Spock?” Jim’s voice was filled with sleep, his eyes fluttering open as he rolled over to look at him. 

The sound of his voice awakened the dormant heat in Spock’s blood. “Jim.” He breathed, arm immediately wrapping around his waist and pulling their bodies flush against one another. “I was…trying to allow you to sleep.” Spock murmured. 

“Very kind of you, dear.” Jim chuckled, burying his face in Spock’s neck. “Are you almost ready to go again?” He pressed his lips to the skin. 

”Yes.” Spock said breathily. “Jim…” He wanted to explain and express his concerns. 

”Hey.” Jim smiled, rolling them over so he was straddling Spock. “Nothing that can’t wait until it’s all over, right?” He leaned down, kissing Spock, swallowing any concerns the Vulcan wanted to bring up.


End file.
